There is no such thing as a “Man Bun”…

..because a Man would never adorn himself so.

Okeh… a man (as opposed to a spider or a squirrel) can fuss over her hair any way she wants, but there is nothing manly about a Soy Boy Bun.  I shared some thoughts with (the great and wise) Tom Woods after enjoying his exchange with (the not quite as great or wise) Matt Welch.

Dr Woods apologized for not shaving, so…

I was sorry to learn of your discomfort. When I first learned about pseudo folliculitis barbae I thought it sounded like a gift. We were in Basic Training at the time, and some lucky stiffs were actually relieved of the duty of shaving every day (with note from Lieutenant Doctor Cutie, of course). I was assured by those carrying such passes that they would be delighted to trade places with me. The described mechanics of tight, dense, curly hair drilling itself into the skin does sound rather unpleasant. Still… Shaving is a grievous nuisance, and, I believe, an element of our masters’ grand scheme to infantilize and feminize the pack. So wiggle your whiskers proudly, men!

And take heart, Tom!
First, the sexy hairy Neanderthal look suits you.
Second, you’re apt to get a LOT more respect for your Pseudo Folliculitis Barbie than you would for your Man Bun Ken.

Kind Regards,
Gene Greigh

Rector Lawrence on Shariah Law

Americans are generally adept at heaping scorn on Shariah Law. We are horrified when innocent acts (like the doffing of a head scarf, or the quaffing of a cold brew) that injure or defraud none are treated as if they are affronts to a loving god. We are right to be dismayed at the prospect of twenty months in stir for the “crime” of exposing one’s head to the sky, but fail to heed Rabbi Yeshua’s admonition (Matthew 7:5) to first cast the beams from our own eyes before attending to motes in others’.

We should be offended by the harshness of Iranian Law. We should also be offended by the murder of Peter McWilliams. McWilliams died a painful and lingering death from non-Hodgkins lymphoma after he was denied access to medicinal cannabis by the occupation government. We should be offended by every otherwise peaceful productive pothead and prostitute squandering tax monies in stir.

Like the attendees to the Sermon on the Mount, we are much better at identifying the errors of others than our own.

Rector Lawrence
Matthew 6:6 Ministries

Playing with Trains

Big government apparatchiks (and part time US Senators from Ohio) Rob Portman and Sherrod Brown act to bail out their sponsors in AmTrak, America’s socialized choo-choo, but it is we who are being railroaded with yet another insider subsidy. Though the edifice of Cincinnatistan’s  Hall of Justice (or “Union Terminal” if you insist) does indeed make a powerful and evocative architectural statement, is it really worthy of tax-victim support?


Rapping the Fed

How very gauche of our uncouth President to be “rapping” the Olympian minds of our exalted “Federal Reserve” as they pore over their auguries and divine the holiest and purest of interest rates for a grateful nation.

Backward rubes like Mr Trump might believe that in a primitive commodity based free market economy natural interest rates would be based on the perceived availability of surplus resources. In Our Enlightened Democracy we’ve learned from the great Soviet Pioneers that central planning, top down, one size fits all dicta are always superior to the chaotic caprice of capitalism and its mysterious invisible hands. All right (and wishful) thinking citizens understand that only the wizards of the Fe’ral Reserve have the moral clarity and detached objectivity to proclaim that most revered of rates. (Viva Vigorish!)

Mr Trump clearly fails to recall the Constitutional Convention of 1913 that repealed the Tenth Amendment (which theretofore had authorized State resistance to Fe’ral encroachment — really a dead letter anyway since Mr Lincoln’s invasion of the Sovereign South) and rescinded Article 1, Section 10’s prohibitions of the emission of Bills of Credit and of the States’ bar on making any Thing other than gold or silver Coin a Payment of Debts.

Silly President.  Constitutions are for tricks.

On Ritual Mutilation

Kylie and Stormi Jenner are a very good example of a very bad example. Whether your intentions as a “proud” or “loving” parent are to mutilate your daughter’s ears or your son’s penis, it would be well to remember this: infants are unable to give informed consent.

To mutilate any person without his permission (or short of a medical emergency) is trespass and violence. Trespassing against another’s person or property or violating their bodily integrity is wrong. It’s wrong even if your Rabbi or the Village Elders insist that it’s righteous. And it is wrong even if all your friends tell you that “everybody do that.”

If you’re paying your own bills and making your own decisions lately and you fancy some tats or piercings or a circumcision or a clitorectomy, then have at it. It’s your cash and your body.

But leave the children alone!

If I’m going to hector strangers on the evils of child abuse, I should confess my own shame. Attend then to the sad despicable cascade of disgrace.

Shortly after the birth of our first son, Busy Body and I were moving into a house owned by her parents. Helping out with their new grand baby was their joy and I’m delighted that they had the disposable wherewithal to take part. However, discovering that young Stargazer had yet to be circumcised, Grandmama expressed her horror that her little grand darling could not be welcomed into the Kingdom of God.

Grandmama wanted to please a loving and merciful god, Busy Body wanted to please her mother, and I caved in to my wife and betrayed my son. I am comforted by the fact that I do not remember my own circumcision, and I suspect that few of us do. Our brains are not well organized yet to hold on to much. However. I do remember Stargazer’s circumcision. I remember the sterile room with the tiny form fitted tray for his little body. I remember being escorted out to the waiting area. I remember the screaming. I still remember the screaming. I’ll always remember the screaming.

Am I a hypocrite because I now exhort others not to commit the crimes that I have? No. I do not forgive myself for this, but I’ve tried to make the best of my life in spite of immutable history. If I were to remain silent I would be a hypocrite and a coward.

Please, for the love of life and liberty and decency and dignity, leave your children to their own natures and they will express it in their own time.


* * * * * * * Oh Zarms * * * * * * *

Meeting the meter is my metier, and I often fall for the allure of alliteration. But getting back to meter. What follows is kind of a collaboration, I guess. I don’t know if I actually wrote any of it, though I will confess to rearranging M Rouget de Lisle‘s brilliant original. You may have noticed that irrespective of melody many songs have matching meters (I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke, House of the Rising Sun, and Amazing Grace, for one memorable example.) And some meters merely overlap, sometimes just barely glancing off each other. My all-time favorite national anthem, Les Marseilles, has an amusing overlap with another favorite. To get yourself started before you start reading, try whistlin’ Dixie.

Allons enfant de la patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivez.
Aux armes! Aux armes! Aux armes, citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons, marchon, marchon!
Formez vos bataillons.  Marchon pour Dieu et Patrie.
Aux armes, aux armes, aux armes pour Dieu et Patrie.
Marchon, marchon. Aux armes pour Dieuuuuuuuuu…
Et Patrie!


Audit the FED

Does Donald Trump use the Federal Reserve and the United States Treasury Department to funnel funds to his friends in the Kremlin to support their shared anti-woman, anti-trans, anti-gay, anti-worker, anti-environmental, white supremacist agenda?

We may never know until we conduct a thorough and complete audit of the Fe’ral Reserve, find out how they framed Hillary, who’s funding Russian Collusion, what happened to America’s gold, and why the frogs are turning gay!

Total Systematic Abuse

Correspondent EM “got completely torn apart by [the] TSA” the other day, very nearly missing her flight, over which correspondent GJ opined that he has “nothing but contempt” for them.

I too have plenty of contempt for the TSA, but as a former federal employee I also sympathize. Some of us are so spectacularly incompetent at the arcana of people’s delicate little fuh-fuh-fuh-feeeeeelings that such drone work (or cashiering at the Quikk Stopp by the Interstate) is the best employment that we can score.

Of course, when I actually witness one of these tax-feeders DELIGHTING in their abuse, then all sympathy fades.

Do I confirm correspondent GJ’s theory that the TSA “is just a govt work program for low-IQ individuals?” I don’t know if I confirm it, but I guess I do offer a little corroboration, as well as some counter-argument.

Irrespective of “low-IQ” employees, I’d say the TSA is more than “just a govt work program.” More importantly, it is public relations at its most nakedly honest. It is, to swipe the wit of the writers of Colony (DO NOT MISS IT!), their way of showing us who’s the bug, and who’s the kid with the magnifying glass.

Open Borders Anarchist

“It’s either or…”
“Now isn’t the right time…”
“First we have to get rid of the welfare state…”
“First we have to get rid of democracy…”

It seems like it’s never the “right time” for steps in the libertarian direction, but is there ever a wrong time to do the right thing?

As an open borders anarchist myself, I say, “Let them starve at home or starve here.” If you want to deal harshly with trespassers onto your own ranch, then I guess that’s up to you. As for broad peaceful use easement onto MY public lands, MY sidewalks, and MY streets (paid for with MY stolen monies), I’d rather you didn’t molest my mules as they brought up my marijuana from Mexico. On the other hand, I guess I wouldn’t mind buying it at Kroger instead.

Correspondent JS asks, “Why would closed borders not be a step in a libertarian direction?” What constitutes trespass? What constitutes violence? Closing a border rather strongly suggests prohibiting people from traveling at will. How we stop them often requires brute force, usually by employees of The Occupation wearing government issued firearms. Exercising one’s right to life and liberty often takes some work, travel, and innovation. Interfering with any peaceful transit IS trespass, and caging travelers for declining to carry sanctioned documentation IS violence. And, before you play the “New Democrat Voters” card, yes, I already agree that VOTiNG is ALSO ViOLENCE, and that the only legitimate use of a franchise is defensive.

I do appreciate the temptation to “Nip it! Nip it in the bud,” but I tend to lean more towards due process than prior restraint if we’re going to infringe on people.