Thank you for not voting.

There’s no danger in alienating non-voters. What are they going to do? Not vote for me? When people tell me they don’t vote, I have mixed emotions. Part of me wants to say, “Hey! Come on, I need all the help I can get!” Another part wants to say, “Great! The fewer people vote, the more mine counts!” Still another part wants to say, “Fine. Go back to sleep. Leave these decisions to the grown-ups.”

Alleged Privilege

What a stupid world this is.
Pink people are called “white”, and brown people are called “black”, and if a homosexual is depressed, maudlin, or even suicidal, he’s still called “gay.“

Supposedly, because of my complexion, I am a member of a privileged set. The way it works is this: if my party of four showed up at Sardi’s without a reservation at the same time as Denzel’s, Beyonce’s, Barrack’s, and Oprah’s respective unscheduled parties, then my friends and I would be seated first!

That’s assuming I could afford Sardi’s. Now within a decade of being supported full time by tax victims, I think I may have cleared 40k just one year of my “career”, and usually a lot less. Presently I keep myself in groceries and electricity by selling cigarettes and lottery tickets at the Quikk Stopp by the Interstate.

What I’d really like is some of that JALEEL White Privilege.
You know, the access and opportunity that comes from having portrayed a beloved character on a popular sitcom. (“Did I do that?”)

Never go fishing with strangers who call you “chum.”

Some people are way too friendly way too fast. It puts me right off. You’ve probably had one at some time or another — classmate, coworker, neighbor, who knows…?  Somehow or other you instantly became this guy’s best friend. He always seems to be standing a little too close and acts a little too interested. This sets off important alarms. Why is this guy so desperate for friends? What does he really want? Why is he still bothering me?

Okeh, I seriously don’t think most fishermen are out to chop you up and use you for bait. Most people are generally decent, kind, compassionate, even generous. Even fishermen. One on one, that is. Get them into large anonymous groups though, like lynch mobs or plebiscites, and they can get downright vicious.

So… go ahead. Go fishing, as long as it looks to be a manageable crowd.

Voting has gotten to be way too easy.

It should be inconvenient. It should take a deliberate effort, not a thoughtless reflex. I particularly oppose Mail-in Ballots and the ever popular Motor Voter Registration programs that have spread across the union. Think about it. They give drivers’ licenses to just about anybody. Do you want the helm of the Republic in the hands of someone who can’t be troubled to use a turn signal?

A Tale of Two Larries (or how “White Privilege” trumps scholastics at Stanford University)

This is a story about Pink Larry and Brown Larry. The Larries both went to Spartan High, were in a few of the same classes, and were both scheduled to graduate in the same year. Here their stories diverge.

Pink Larry was a skinny “white” (pink) kid who excelled at math, science, and literature. Brown Larry was a muscular “black” (brown) dude who excelled at football, snapping towels, and pushing skinny “white” (pink) kids around. Fortunately, Pink Larry was a little taller, faster, and more agile than most skinny “white” (pink) kids, so he managed to mainly escape the “sport” of Brown Larry and his “student athlete” companions. Some of his friends were not so lucky.

Tiring of being molested and maligned in “gym class”, Pink Larry dropped out of Phys. Ed. Tiring of correcting his “instructors’” spelling and grammar, Pink Larry dropped out of English class. Tiring of state-worshipping, Keynesian, revisionist “teachers”, Pink Larry dropped out of history class.

Things aren’t looking so good for Pink Larry here, but despair ye not. When Principal Menelaus saw that Pink Larry could not (by statutory decree) be graduated without the all important PE, English, and Social(ist) Studies credits, he summoned Pink Larry’s mom for a conference. Because of Pink Larry’s stubbornness (or his disinclination to endure more locker room beatings) he said, “So be it, I shan’t graduate.”

Well, Mom wouldn’t stand for that. Since she was unwilling to escort him to PE for the remainder of his senior year, Pink Larry was scheduled to test for his General Equivalency Diploma. Of course, he aced it. What else should you expect from a lad who blew away all comers in his school wide math competition TWO YEARS running?

Unfortunately, not everything is as easy as algebra. It was determined that it would be “unfair” for Pink Larry to get his GED in April, so he was obliged to wait until the rest of “his” class was properly graduated in June.

Spartan High comes to the end of another year, ready to launch another class out into the world. The Larries have big plans. Pink Larry wants to go to Stanford University and study physics and organic chemistry. Brown Larry wants to play football. One of them gets a “scholarship” to do just that.

Forty years later the other one is selling soda pop and chips at the Quikk Stopp by the Interstate. So, everybody wins. Arguably, what saves Pink Larry from disappointment and resentment might be the news that Stanford still makes such laudable selections. Rather than succumb to bitterness, he accepts his good fortune and sends Stanford belated thanks, as follows:

I’ve wondered about it for decades, so I am grateful to the current news for illustrating what Stanford’s ethical standards really entail:

Apparently, you’re all perfectly cool with a swimming rapist matriculating into your hallowed halls. On the other hand, there is no room for a decent math and science prodigy who did not receive his High School diploma because he could no longer enjoy the attacks and the abuse from the elite and privileged “athaleets” in Phys Ed, and who tired of correcting the grammar of his English “teachers”, and who could no longer stomach the collectivist propaganda from his “History” teachers. Instead, I squandered my High School years studying trigonometry, linear algebra, physics, organic chemistry, and other useless non-sports related activities.

I was disappointed — crushed in fact, metaphorically speaking — by your rejection lo these many decades ago. I had so looked forward to working with and studying under the great Linus Pauling, but no… I couldn’t catch a football like my classmate, so, tough break for scholarship. It is clearly secondary to panem et circensis.

Maybe I actually ducked a bullet. Who knows? I could have been left behind a dumpster myself if I’d suffered the depredations of the Ideal Stanford Man.

Stanford declined to respond.

A Secure Frontier

campaign rhetoric, 2002… I exhort the crowd.

Responsible people will prepare themselves for dangers and accidents. Some carry guns, others study jiu jitsu, many pack first aid kits and jugs of water in their cars. Communities organize locally to protect themselves from predators and rough weather — murderers, rapists, blizzards, and floods. Likewise, on a Federal level, we establish a standing military to protect America from Nazis, Imperialists, and other aggressors. The world is ever perilous, and we must never neglect the unknown. Too many of the dangers we have faced as a nation have come upon us by surprise — whether the malign efforts of villains, or indifferent acts of nature. Though we can’t know for certain where they will next appear, whether from a Peoples’ Republic of Atlantis, or a rogue asteroid on a collision course with the Earth, we must prepare for all possible threats.

The Libertarian foreign policy is simplicity itself: “Do what you will with your own and be at peace with the United States. Trifle with us at your peril.” This is a policy of strict self-defense and non-interference. It is not isolationism, and it does not mean that we individual American citizens may not express our moral outrage at the atrocities committed by religious, racist, and misogynist zealots worldwide. It does not mean that individual Americans would be barred from supporting the partisans of their choosing, or even taking up arms on their behalf. It means that the American Government will spend American Dollars and spill American Blood only when it is our vital national interest. Otherwise, we should pursue a policy of peaceful trade with all nations, entangling alliances with none.

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, for example, may well have served a legitimate purpose in containing the very real threat of Soviet hegemony, but in 1990, when the constituent republics of the former USSR renounced its aims of global consolidation and dissolved the beast, NATO lost all reason for being. However, like all government bureaucracies, it took on a life of its own and commenced seeking new missions. The NATO sponsored and United Nations endorsed assault on Serbia may very well portend a new internationalist order of conquest and domination to dwarf the aims of the Soviet Union. A free people and a peaceful republic have no place in nor any use for any such interventionist order.

Consistent with national defense, the Federal Government has a responsibility to explore and to secure the frontier. President Jefferson did right by sending Lewis and Clark to Oregon, and President Kennedy did right by sending Apollo to the Moon. We don’t know what dangers lurk in the heavens — solar storms to disrupt our weather, stray comets to vaporize our oceans, or massive meteor strikes to rain ruin onto our cities. We can’t know if we don’t look, and to dismiss the possibility and refuse to prepare for danger is suicidal recklessness. Wishes won’t make us safe, and hope is no refuge from the storm.

Human intelligence and our sense of wonder are gifts too rare and magnificent for us to follow the dinosaurs into oblivion.

But of course, the frontier isn’t all danger — neither Oregon nor Hawaii have ever threatened America, but both have enriched the Union. Likewise, there is enormous wealth in the New Frontier. The New Millennium Dawns with the promise of Life, Liberty, Prosperity, and Peace. A full belly for every hungry child. A good job for every able body. An ennobling challenge for every nimble mind. The Earth can be more fruitful, the seas richer, the air cleaner and sweeter. The future of industry is in the sky, where limitless energy awaits in the form of unfiltered sunshine, and limitless resources revolve serenely around the Sun in wide elliptical orbits between Jupiter and Mars. Let the Earth bloom as a garden, as a park, as a pasture, and as our own inviting back yard. There are fabulous riches and adventures in the outer realm, and they wait there for the people with the courage and the vision to reach out and seize them.

Toward that end, I propose that America re-establish a permanent orbital presence — a presence unstained by internationalist sentiments, unrestricted by internationalist intervention, and unimpeded by internationalist involvement.

Furthermore, I propose the establishment of a permanent settlement on the Moon, a manned mission to Mars, and that we send unmanned vessels to begin investigating the Asteroids. Do I overreach? Perhaps, but I believe that a vigorous society must overreach. To do less is to betray our posterity, and to condemn our heirs to lives of tyranny and poverty.

Big Newton’s

Isaac Newton said he saw so far because he stood on the shoulders of giants. Okeh, I guess he can have his humble brag, and his salute to his predecessors, but he did at least have the fortitude to actually STAND on those shoulders. Most of the rest of us are comfortable today riding in the pockets of giants.

* * * * * * advertisement * * * * * *

Princess Pam is the creation of Bruce Jones and Dave Stevens.  Black Canary is the property of Detective Comics and Warner CommunicationsStephanie Starr is the creation of Mike Friedrich and Dick Giordano.  Their images are reproduced by Piracy Press for purposes of analysis and scholarship.  If anything, their use here constitutes free advertisement at the considerable expense of Piracy Press and Greigh Area Associates.

Stories are selected with the greatest of discrimination, but even numbered issues of Daring Love are specifically edited with the prurient interests of atavistic fanboys in mind.  Reader discretion is advised.

Amending the Constitution, part 29 (020629)

Well, I’m not one to leave well enough alone. People don’t run for office if they don’t think they have better ideas than the people who are already there, and on that score I am certainly no different.

There has been a great deal of talk for the last several years on the subject of Statehood for the District of Columbia. I think that that is a thoroughly awful idea. In addition to its microscopic geography, and complete lack of any practical resources, it is a hotbed of liberal Democratic sentiment. It would be bad enough to send two more Democrats to the US Senate, but the typical DC politician makes Senators like Tom Daschle and Paul Wellstone seem positively moderate. On the other hand, it remains a national embarrassment that half a million American citizens are denied a voice in the People’s House. The Twenty-third Amendment, which granted DC residents three Electors for President was a small step in the right direction, but Statehood would be a huge step in the wrong direction.

In the interests of full disclosure, I think now would be a good time to point out that I am in favor of Statehood for Puerto Rico. It is long overdue. Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, or Green, two new delegates from America’s last colony deserve their place in the United States Senate. (But Senator Marion Berry? Senator Jesse Jackson? Please. We might as well elect Senator Fidel Castro or Senator Robert Mugabe.)

On the other hand, the people of DC, and also those of Guam, Saipan, Samoa, , and all across the Pacific deserve their voice in the government. Toward that end, then, I propose that DC cash in its three Presidential Electors (as granted by the Twenty-third Amendment), in favor of a more equitable arrangement for all Americans outside of the Several States.
To wit:

Territorial Suffrage Amendment

Section I: The twenty-third article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.

Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second year by the People of the Several States, and of the District constituting the seat of Government of the United States, and of all Possessions, Provinces, Commonwealths, and Territories subject to the jurisdiction of the United States.

Section III: Representatives shall be apportioned among the Several States, and among all Districts, Possessions, Provinces, Commonwealths, and Territories according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of Persons in each State, District, Possession, Province, Commonwealth, or Territory. For purposes of apportionment, the Congress shall have the power to consolidate the populations of any Provinces, Commonwealths, or Territories subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, but not of the Several States, nor of the District constituting the seat of Government of the United States.

Section IV: All Districts, Possessions, Provinces, Commonwealths, and Territories subject to the jurisdiction of the United States shall appoint, in such manner as Congress may direct, a number of Electors for President and Vice President equal to the whole number of Representatives to which they are entitled, and they shall be considered, for the purpose of the election of the President and the Vice President, to be Electors appointed by a State.

Do I think this will quell the campaign for DC Statehood? Not likely. Nevertheless, it is still the right thing to do. From the Marianas to the Virgin Islands, all Americans deserve to be heard. Taxation without representation is tyranny. For that matter, taxation with representation isn’t so terrific either, but at least this way people will have a little more say in their own destiny.

update 180128: There may be a few more years of life left to the Grand Confederacy. To comfort its passing, and to spare ourselves the danger of its death throes, I like to offer notions to mitigate the offenses of democracy. For one, let’s blow up the Congress! (No Madonna, I don’t mean with dynamite, I mean with Reps.). Presently one congressmember “represents” about three quarters of a million of us. Expanding their ranks to (at least) a thousand would bring them each closer to their constituents. In fact, let’s make that the minimum formula.
Give me a few weeks to tweak the language, but the gist:

The Congress shall consist of one thousand Representatives, and upon the admission of each new State, that number shall be increased by twenty Representatives, the sum to be apportioned among the several States, Districts, Possessions, Provinces, Commonwealths, and Territories according to their numbers as provided by law.

Without him there’d be anarchy!

Most Americans admire (“Honest”) Abe Lincoln; we love a winner! But take pause, history books are written and printed in winning regimes.

I firmly expect that if Adolf Hitler had won his particular war he would be revered today as the Father of a United Europe and the Savior of the Reich. Any talk of his closing newspapers, arresting judges, locking up protesters, closing legislatures, or shooting draft resisters would be dismissed as the tiresome rhetoric of “revisionist historians.”

To those who say that John Wilkes Boothe was too late to save America, I say that Hitler was too late to save Canaan.