As a fan of pageantry and poetry (and promotion, often a synthesis of both) and in anticipation of Mr Trump‘s announcement of his “Fake News Awards,” I wondered what to call them.
The Brawleys and the Krugies came quickly to mind, both being associated with notorious public deceptions about racist rapists and/or Keynesian numerology. Upon reflection I rejected them both in deference to The Mencken, after the master of fake news, who, with his bathtub story, exposed most “journalists” as lazy stenographers. Still, it doesn’t seem right. None of my candidates ever actually purported to be real reporters (okeh, maybe Mencken a little, but mainly he was an opinion monger, as is Krugman.) Really I should choose the name from among the many offending “reporters” on (and departed from) the scene.
Unfortunately, since El Donaldo awarded first place to Paul Krugman (a columnist and occasional prognosticator, neither of which are “news“), Krugie might have some standing. Precedence counts in both courts of law and of public opinion.
It begs the question, however. Again, since Krugman is not a reporter, his selection suggests that to The Panel of Judge officiating the Fake News Awards, “fake” is defined as “offensive to The Panel of Judge.”
But this too shall pass, and I should take heart. Perhaps the first Fake News Awards will go the way of the first Saturday Night Live, and a new precedent can be established more firmly.
There’s still hope for The Bri’nies, named for Brian Williams, of course, for whom I composed the following original poem, sung in the key of The Beach Boys. …180118…
Would it be unwise to tell a story,
How I risked my life to bring the news,
And would it be amiss to don the glory,
And disseminate my Leftist views?
I could sit and read my teleprompter,
Shot down in my helicopter,
Wouldn’t it be lies?
High and dry in Hurricane Katrina,
Not a thing to do.
It’s a non-starter!
I know, I
Could tell the world I saw a floating corpse or two,
In the French Quarter.
Come six months I think I’m in the clear, and
Live reporting from Waziristan,
Then, telling you more lies.
I could get a cushy desk job reading news for NBC,
I’d be on TeeVee!
Shilling for additional authority from ol’ DeeCee.
Isn’t it groovy?
On the screen with Chris and Rachel,
Honesty is just too stressful,
So we stick to lies!
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