11 December 2016 — The Purpose of Junior Juniorhigh
If I were an objective, empirical person, I would conclude, based on the evidence, that the purpose of Junior Juniorhigh is to prepare us for Senior Juniorhigh, and that the purpose of Senior Juniorhigh is to prepare us for Eternal Juniorhigh. The mores, traditions, and ethics of Eternal Juniorhigh are designed to convince fading former Prom Queens and their plagues of pestiferous Princesses that they are still way cooler than the nerdy techies that they, or their (ex?)husbands, now work for.
14 September 2022
I have elected to stiff you this month. (Try to relax and don’t clench up. They say it’s easier that way.) Based on cash flow and other exigencies, I decided it would be prudent (and far safer) to pay “Kitawg‘s Main Street Automotive” instead. After discerning that I’d been putting more brake fluid into my car in the last two months than in the prior five or six years, I decided I preferred brake work in my immediate future to charges of vehicular homicide. Kitawg confirmed my suspicions about the effect of twenty winters of Cincinnatistan’s salted roads on exposed metals. It seems I’d been expressing brake fluid out of corroded brake lines at every intersection. Fortunately, the closest Texas comes to salted roads would be along the Gulf Coast, which is nowhere near me these days. I am always delighted to give money to skilled craftsmen when it makes me better off than the mere cash could, and I will be delighted to resume payments to you anon, generally believing that paying debts is the best “investment.” Meanwhile, your monthly status report:
Beginning balance: $5756.90
CPI for August 2022 reported to be 8.30% annualized.
interest: $40.82
payment: $0.00
balance remaining: $5797.72
14 October 2022
Not surprising that an heroic “woman of color” would finally get fed up with the Party of slavery, Jim Crow, the KKK, and elective war, and also not surprising that venal Democrats are now scorching their former “rising star” Lt Col Gabbard.
The car, and its newly rebuilt brake system, is now in safe working order, and while reparations have not yet kicked in (I’m still lingering over applying for Social “Security” as I’m taking an actuarial chance, based on relative health, family history, and lifestyle, that waiting a little more will enhance the stipend sufficiently to overcome the delay and then some.) my modest income from the local QuikkStopp allows me to resume my preferred payment schedule.
Once again, your monthly status report:
Beginning balance: $5797.72
CPI for September 2022 reported to be 8.17% annualized.
interest: $39.47
payment: $400.00
balance remaining: $5437.19
14 March 2023
Happy Pi Day AND Happy Equal Pay Day, a fitting confluence of events denoting opportunities for arrogant solons to attempt de-legislating reality. History is amusingly replete with examples of Pi being redefined (to 22/7, typically, though I’m partial to 355/113 myself) so that it is no longer irrational (and therefore presumably an abomination unto the Lord), forgetting that real engineers and electricians never use pi (or e or phi) anyway, because no one’s paying for all that extra accuracy. Silly Demoblicans and Repucrats also like to try to legislate away the real differences in lifelong choices made by majorities of men and women that result in their achieving different stations in the market vis a vis productivity and reward. I expect if men also took about a decade off from their career tracks to raise children, AND if women were more inclined to risky (and therefore more handsomely compensated) behavior, there’d probably be no such gap. This fantastical 73% or 79% comparison is evidence of the adage, “Figures don’t lie, but liars do figure.”
A new low on the CPI (at least for the life of this loan) is certainly good news for me, most of the rest of humanity, as well as your own tender conscience. (Apropos of which, have you sponsored a worthy stripper yet?)
Herewith, your (regular?) bimonthly check-free statement.
Beginning balance: $4700.15
CPI for year ending February 2023 reported to be 5.5%
interest: $21.53
payment: $0.00
balance remaining: $4721.68