23 February 2018
The English language is evolving as we speak. In fact, that’s one of the ways that it evolves. Some old words don’t quite fit new concepts, and some carry unnecessary baggage (see “Tselphisch Tovarisch?” for amplification.) When the need arises, we create new expressions.
Some of the following are my own invention, some are not.
Confabulation — Well, actually, I didn’t coin this word, but I thought I did, just as I thought I’d discovered the Binomial Theorem in senior juniorhigh. Turns out someone beat me to it. Anyway, the psychology types got there first and decided it’s some sort of detailed delusion. Sure. But when the “Editorial I” wanted to hype The Kree-Skrull War and wrote, “This Cosmic Confabulation has it all! Rockets! Robots! Romance! Rick Jones!” I thought it meant a story created by collaboration. So that was one attempt.
Cyberlogue — The language of IT weasels. It sounds a lot like English, the grammar and syntax, particularly, but the vocabulary is heavy with acronyms and a veritable Niagara of neologisms of their own.
Seriagraphy — Serial Pictures. “Sequential Art” says Will Eisner. “Graphic Novels” say the effete. “Comic Books” or “Panel Art” say most, and “Illustrated Stories” say some. I prefer Seriagraphy.
Serigraphy (“seh rig ruh fee” with just the one A) is silk screening.
Seriagraphy (“sear ee ah gruh fee”) would be the process. A seriagraph (“sear ee uh graph”) would be the finished product. “Comic Books” is a slur to many of us, as the medium is so much more than Richie Rich and Archie Andrews. Many “comix” are far from comical. And Graphic NOVEL? Sometimes, sure, but not always. Even Eisner’s own A Contract With God, hailed by many as [“the barrier shattering graphic novel that brought the funny pages out of the ghetto“], wasn’t a novel at all. It was an anthology with four separate (albeit thematically linked) can-stand-up-all-by-themselves stories. So nothing wrong with “graphic novel,” if it’s a novel, or “graphic anthology,” if it’s an anthology, but in general, “Seriagraph.” Practice saying it with me.
Softsmith — Programmer, a writer of software products.
“That’s just elegant!” (as The Girl in the Kaufmans’ Apartment would say.) I’m surprised no one’s beaten me to this, it just seems so obvious. A silversmith creates things out of silver, so… “Programmers” on the other hand might put together “mix tapes” for their friends, or book entertainers for cruise lines. It’s a little too broad, I think, like “Federal Agent.”
Unteamly — How I behaved at every school I ever attended and on every job I ever held. Although I may be often told that Together Everyone Accomplishes More, I know that Trite Euphemisms Are Meaningless. Of course, when I was actually engaged in a sporting activity with friends or classmates (baseball, volleyball, football, or real football), then I WAS a team player. Because we were PLAYING. If I have to be paid in order to do it, it’s not “playing.”
Swipe and hash tag — Neither of these are mine. In fact I reject them both. What idiot decided it was a good idea to encourage people to “swipe” things in a retail establishment? Sure, we all want to get paid, and submitting credit or debit data is one helpful way to get that done, but… To “swipe” means to steal, to pilfer, to kype, or to snatch. Do you really want your customers swiping stuff? Fortunately for the sane and the humane among us, the word “slide” already exists, is only one syllable, and ALREADY DESCRIBES THE ACTION! “Hash tag” is worse. “Hash tag” is an abomination. The # has existed for several decades (preceding my involvement in typography) and for all that time it has been known as the pound or the number symbol. Why invent a two syllable word to substitute for an already existing one syllable word? Who has so much extra time that doubling the work load seems like a good idea?