“Insufficient Eyes” (12 January 2019)
I have only two eyes.
If I were to keep (fix, sustain, do not remove) my eyes (note plural usage, meaning both of them) on the prize, there would be no eye left for anything else, including keeping it on the ball.
“Why did you run into that player?”
“I didn’t see him.”
“Why didn’t you watch where you were running?”
“You told us to keep our eyes on the ball. I was watching the ball.”
Coach didn’t like that answer. I think this may have been the same psycho-terrorist who insisted that I “Don’t try! Just do it!” But of course he would never explain how ANYTHING is EVER done without trying.
It could be that I missed his larger lesson;
it may have had something to do with running laps.
“The Consequences of Fakery” (1 September 2019)
The consequences of fakery are varied, ranging from trivial to dire.
In the social or emotional realm, fakery can [aggravate emotional fragility] or, more seriously, [compromise a] reputation.
In accounting or actuarial work it leads to bankruptcy and disgrace.
In the material realm (carpentry, engineering, surgery) people die.
update 210105: In the political realm, fakes are elected and re-elected and millions are financially ruined and thousands die.
(1 September 2019) A fool and his honeys are soon half-way fed up with each other. I will testify to that. As this fool never sought divorce, my hapless honeys were obliged to carry the whole load themselves. And when you work out the averages you get half, so I remain correct (one of my many flaws — no wonder they ditched me)! : update 9 January 2021 — the beat goes on…
“Diggin’ up Bones” (6 September 2019)
“I’m diggin’ up bones… exhumin’ things that’s better left alone”?
The authors of this song (Paul Overstreet, Al Gore, and Nat Stuckey) expressed it as a declarative sentence, and while singing it vocalist Randy Travis betrays not a hint of a Valley Girl accent, so there is no good reason to infer that it is a question. Yet I have misquoted it as a question because I think it is a very good question. For me.
What am I doing here with all this writing and hoping for feedback and other silly or stupid activity?
I’m diggin’ up bones. When patterns are presented by dynamic processes (like human beings, f’rinstance) sometimes an exhumation or other deeper analysis will yield useful results.
Other times it will blow up in my face. Boy Howdy!
“Another Case of ‘I’m NOT My Daddy!'” (15 September 2019)
Hip texters (or textie hipsters?) may wish to assert their digital prowess and distance themselves from “old people” who can spell (Wall Street Journal weekend edition: “Tales of ‘Woah’”). That’s fine in their clique. That’s what slang is for, to conceal meaning and to exclude outsiders. However, if one wishes to communicate with strangers, correct grammar and spelling remain key to clear meaning.
It might be helpful to consult with Noah Webster over the probable pronunciation of “woah.” Meanwhile, I’m not so old that I don’t remember movies. When Keanu Reeves skidded to a stop at the roof’s edge, he did not say “woe-uh.” He released the single breathy syllable, “Whoa!” (pronounced Hwoe).
English phonics can be confusing; ask someone who doesn’t pronounce his name kanidjit (“Knight”). Intentionally mispronouncing and misspelling words or reversing definitions (“sick” – “bad” – “privilege”) doesn’t help.
“Who Needs to ‘Learn How to Lose’?” (20 September 2019)
This is one of those “valuable team/sports/life lessons” we hear too much about. Losing goes on all the time. It takes almost no effort to lose. In fact, “no effort” is often one of the key elements of losing. Anyone presuming to teach you “how to lose” is wasting his own time (his own privilege) and insulting you (your own call.) If you’ve ever come in other than first or misplaced your keys, you already know how to lose. It’s a drag.
Maybe team sports are intended to teach me how to like it.
“Listening Between the Lines” (29 September 2019)
Because…
“Would you like a receipt?”
“I’m good.”
“I’m delighted you’re good. Would you like a receipt?”
“I don’t need one.”
“I realize. Nobody needs a receipt. Would you like one?”
“I said NO!”
“Thank you.”
Janson Jacket (28 December 2019)
Is she wondering how pleasant and charming he might be?
Or giving woodland survival tips?
Was that “Wood gnat be sweet”
or “Would Nat be sweet?”
A Brief Encounter (10 August 2020)
(co-authored by Huey Lewis — “Yes, it’s true!”)
Customer: “…and the same.”
Clerk: “A dray?”
Customer: “Yes!”
