5 November 2021
As an American atheist, the “Sharia Laws” with which I am most familiar (no wine or hard liquor to be sold on Sundays or fines for public nudity or prison for sodomites, for example) are mostly of the Judeo-Christian variety. I am less concerned with Buddhist or Hindu or Muslim silliness, but because these faiths also energize literally billions, I take pains to familiarize myself with their mythology. To that effect, I have been reading The Quran lately. As literature, it doesn’t compare well with its competitors. Ye Olde Testament and Edith Hamilton’s Greek Mythology are still tied for the best stories, but The New Improved Testament and The New World Testament are not far behind. The Quran and The Bhagavad Gita are both very dry and tedious, but nevertheless interesting.
But The Quran has its unique charms. I get the impression that it was inspired (contrary to the pedophile Mohammed’s claim) because Leviticus just wasn’t harsh enough. Chapter 8, verses 14 & 50 both prescribe death by fire for unbelievers, while chapter 9, verse 17 reiterates that we will be in the fire forever. Like the other texts, it is not always explicit, so some Imams will interpret that as prescriptive – put them to death with fire – whereas others claim that it is merely predictive – they will burn in Hell (“What an evil destination.”) Nevertheless, it is a gruesome and cruel notion, difficult to reconcile with the claim that “Islam is a religion of peace.”
Or maybe not so difficult. After all, Joe Gill’s and Pat Boyette’s creation, The Peacemaker (now being portrayed on the screen by commie tool John Cena), was so committed to peace that he was “willing to FIGHT for it.” And the motto of the Strategic Air Command, as I was reminded every morning when I reported to the Jet Shop, was “Peace is our Profession.” Upon reflection, I guess it’s not such a stretch. What’s more peaceful than a corpse?