29 July 2022 — (meter stolen from Boudleaux & Felice Bryant)
I got schtupped real hard in Central Park.
The rave spilled out from the Ritz.
My boyfriend said, “You’re the best I’ve ever had.
Pay no attention to the zits.”
Pustulence! And weeping sores!
Now emerge on me!
Full blown Monkey Pox,
Get a fresh case from me!
Home grown Monkey Pox,
It can be yours for free!
17 May 2023 — (meter stolen from Sammy Cahn & Jimmy van Heusen)
Pits and asshole, pits and asshole,
Scrub ’em good so they won’t be a hassle,
To our tender senses!
Your poor hygiene can be offensive!
Try, try, try to do a good job,
It’s, so amazing.
You’ll find nothing’s so relaxing…
As, just bathing.
Oils and ointments, rubbing lotion,
Escape your troubles when you take the notion,
Of a brief vacation.
A soothing soak is medication!