Snivels and rants! Snivels and rants! Snivels and rants and rants and rants.
25 October 2023
Did I misremember you newly invented pronouns?
Did I not endorse your body positivity or moral relativism?
Did it hurt way down deep in the feels?
Can you literally not even?
Golly, I’m sorry (strictly sympathetically) to learn of it.
Maybe you could try, to paraphrase Benjamin Segal’s (possibly apocryphal and likely misinformed) unfortunate adversary, sucking an apology out of my lesbian penis.
10 October 2023
(dedicated to the Father of ObamaCare* and Bidenomics)
If you vote for Biden you’re a piece of shit.
If you vote for Biden you’re a piece of shit.
Though the Orange Man is scary,
Of Kamala we are wary.
If you vote for Harris you’re a piece of shit!
If you vote for Biden you’re a piece of shit.
If you vote for Biden you’re a piece of shit.
When our “Dollar’s” in the cellar
With the prospects of Old Yeller.
If you vote for more debasement you’re a shit!
If you vote for Biden you’re a piece of shit.
If you vote for Mitt McCain you’re still a shit.
There’s no gettin’ over it,
When you’re such a brainless twit.
If you vote for Romney you’re a piece of shit!
Dipf sew ffoih yu og’waken Oijleg gewks odec waxen sik!
Dikwad ffomjiugz yu ndawf og’waken joap,
Dikky goce ‘jiddor wejy f’ogopd.
Dipf wu mymidyf og’waken JiquvVyl Dydilk gewks odec waxen sik
Dipf sew ffoih yu og’waken Jotiz gewks odec waxen sik.
Dipf wu wog’axen djolofuzot yogel geys odec waken six!
Gommon Tyme sex dvohfegh opd pydika.
Gummof opdy jiq “F’gummet” gaye jowap
Dipf sex ffoih yu og’waxen Jotiz geys odec waken six
Dipf sex ffoih yu og’waxen Jotiz geys odec waken six.
Dipf sew ffoih yu og’waken Figgup gewks odec waxen sik!
Oigua ogu oka Umuluv kyse.
Oiguvf fix Jul Ontjuge opd praepd,
Dipf sew ffoih yu og’waken Jotiz gewks odec waxen sik
Dipf sew ffoih yu og’waken Jotiz gewks odec waxen sik.
*aka RomneyCare 2.0
(this time, it’s Federal!)
12 October 2023 — inevitable second thoughts
Holey Bat Socks!
This too could be “problematic.”
*sigh*
The eagerly aggrieved will pay no mind to the tenses of those active verbs, as clarity just spoils ambrosial umbrage.
And using big words like “tense?”
Probably also a sign of condescension.
(And why can’t that word be “infraspection” or “unterspection” instead? If English were a proper modular language, they would be the obvious choices for “looking below.”)
The consistent rule: No winning allowed.