20 May 2025
Fifty-four Forty or Best Offer!
(hat-tip to the Polk campaign)
Junior Castreau, Piwee Poilievre, Narc Blarney, Wayne Campbell, and I all agree.
Canada will not become America’s 51st State.
But here we part company.
Canada will not be America’s 51st State.
And neither will Greenland.
Alberta WILL be.
And breathtakingly soon.
Canada is too ridiculously huge, and Greenland is tiny, in spite of its monumental geography. But both nations betray substantial dissatisfaction with their respective colonial stations, in significant proportions. Both nations yearn for independence. And both populations include meaningful contingents of American Unionists.
Canadian Statehood would be a disaster, and no Republican President nor Republican Congress is apt to deliver another California to the Electoral College. Also, we’d be asking for two more Democrat Senators and a “permanent” Democrat majority in the House.
Alberta and Saskatchewan, however, are rather more politically tractable. They have each vigorous native industries, compatible cultures, and substantial populations in their own right, and would readily integrate themselves into the American economy and Constitutional federalism. Except for their weird accents, it’s hard to tell most Texans from most Albertans. The Liberal Party’s continued sneering at Western Canada has energized the locals to sue for separation. The electoral question seems imminent in Alberta. Once Alberta’s voters opt for independence, the united States recognize them immediately and Saskatchewan quickly follows.
Optimistic me sees four new States (Western Canada) and four new Territories (Northern Canada & Greenland) in our Union in four years. We’d have to cede British Columbia to the Left Coast, of course, but on the margin Conservatives and Republicans would overpower any partisan bump that that brings to the DemoCommies in the Congress.
Alberta can’t afford Canada.
Canada can’t afford Canada.
And Canada cannot protect Canada.
It does not today and it never did. (Yes, I know. Canada has sent many Brave Troops to die in Their Majesties’ Imperial Misadventures, shoulder to shoulder with Brits and Yanks and Kiwis and Aussies. And Brits and Canucks chased us back to New York in 1812 or so, so good on them, eh?)
Without Alberta (and Saskatchewan, together nee’ “Buffalo”) Canada is less able to afford its northern territories, while the USA is all the better able to protect the local polities and to preserve the existing subsidies than either the British or the Danish Crown. Greenland and Alberta and Saskatchewan et al can declare independence if they want, and the US can pretend it’s all true, and protect them anyway. And secure the Arctic Frontier while we’re at it. And strengthen the bonds of commerce and comity with our new countrymen. (Denmark would be wise to name a price BEFORE Greenland votes to bolt.)
The loss of the West would surely hasten Chinada’s demise. Ontario and Quebec, serious industrial powers in their own right, could last for generations. But as the Laurentian grip relaxes in the absence of their plundered Western treasure, smaller Provinces will devolve into European or American orbits.
In time, as the North develops Sovereign Wealth Funds and native industries, and population follows and flourishes, Greenland could be married to Nunavut, and the pair of them married to Newfoundland and Labrador, and the four of them could constitute the Provinces or Prefectures or Principalities of a State or Commonwealth or Republic of Arctica, while the Lower Maritimes might coalesce into a New Acadia or an Atlantis, all while retaining individual Provincial integrity within their home State.
There’s little likelihood of Prince Edward Island’s ever having two Senators, nor Nova Scotia nor New Brunswick. Of course, they should retain their Provincial integrity within Acadia, but surely never Statehood on each their own. Likewise for Greenland or Nunavut, which, again, could well be married into a larger State to protect Inuit and Newfie interests.
Canada will NOT be US State #51. That will be Alberta. Canada will be about seven and a fraction of the next TEN States, along with Greenland, Panama, and Puerto Rico. But start slow. Four new States and four new Territories in four years is not too immodest.
Canada’s demise would not herald the end of any Province’s internal authority or territorial integrity, nor would these grand annexations require any bloodshed nor compromise any legitimate tribal claims. Protests to the contrary by entrenched chieftains is simply evidence of bureaucracies’ historic loyalty to status quo. Who knows? The future is rich with possibilities, though ever fraught with peril.
E Pluribus Unum et Sic Semper Tyrannis.