Automotive Misbehavior

I admit that the fantastic and preposterous headline on Sunday’s Enquirer (“Cars keep hitting people.”) is a lot more interesting and entertaining than actual (boring) journalism, but still, it strains one’s credulity.

Where are these mythical mechanisms that start themselves, put themselves into gear, and go out on the road and hit people? Are they owned by the same folks whose magic guns load themselves, cock themselves, and “just go off” and “shoot people”? Are there ever any actual people involved in any of this activity?
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Adventures in Bad Lyrics, volume four: Leaving No Trace of Doubt

14 November 2017

So, by “bad lyrics”, I mean (in addition to my own work) poorly or sloppily executed, as in (sometimes unnecessarily) forced rhymes (“…she twist and turn that thang…like a puppet on a strang…”) or extending a single syllable over several beats (“Eight Six Seven Five Three Oh Nigh Eee Ayn!”).

Also bad as in wicked, cruel, or evil.

I love The Beatles but I am a little creeped out by Maxwell’s Silver Hammer (“…came down upon his head…”), and even more disturbed by Run for Your Life (“I’d rather see you dead little girl…?” Please Paul, help John with his lyrics.)

Pop lyrics tell us that we are slaves to our impulses ( “The girl can‘t help it!”) and that free lunches are real. “Somebody hit the lights, so we can rock it day and night” leaves out too many steps. What I hear is, “Somebody [else forego consumption, and accumulate the capital reserves, to finance research and development, and build the infrastructure, to generate and distribute power, so some spoiled child can] hit the lights!

They also tell us that women love to be dismissed, diminished, and denigrated. If it’s not true how could a popular song boast such beautiful sentiments as, “Hey, [insignificant object], let me [take care of the technical stuff. Due to my mother issues], I’m [difficult to deal with.]” Or, if you prefer the original Klingon: “Hey little thing let me light your candle. ‘Cause o’ Mama, I’m hard to handle.

19 January 2019

If I DON’T like girls who are faster, or stronger, or smarter, or braver than me, then I MIGHT not like her, I MIGHT not like her.

Nice of her to settle the issue. In fact, it’s just plain decent of her to confess her deficiencies so clearly. Since “might” equals “might not” she’s telling the world that if I satisfy the first condition (not liking girls who are faster, stronger, &c), I still might like her (because “might not” equals “might”), so therefore I am faster, stronger, smarter, and braver than she is.

Okeh… but so what? Actually I‘m a little miffed that she would think so little of my ego as to suspect that I’d have any problem with competent women in the first place, and a little sad that she thinks so little of her own ego that she has to clarion her weaknesses to the world.

10 February 2020 — Introducing Ultimate Extreme Fierce Ice!
“It’s IN TENTS! JACT! WOAK

15 February 2020In my Wye Isledest Dreams?
“Just to reveal your schemes, that is why I’ll dust dreams!”
-or- “When coaxing foam from steam, we use Wild Irish Cream!”


Adventures in Bad Lyricsis sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or Three United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars” in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates, c/o Gene Greigh //  843 Carson Drive;  Lebanon, Ohio;  45036

We’re havin’ a Democrat party!

Well-intended restaurateurs in Tijuana report that the alleged “refugees and asylees” now clustering at our southern border are unappreciative of the efforts made on their behalf to provide food and accommodations, that they complain constantly, and that they generally just mess things up wherever they go.

It’s like they’re ALREADY registered Democrats!
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FanBoy Fun

20 November 2018

Many of us lately find our congregations on-line.  Or so we hope.
In my pursuit of Legion of Super-Heroes oriented good times I join in on discussion groups composed of similarly minded geeks.
Turns out the discussions are not all geekery.

Someone had posted an illustration called “Dream Boy” featuring an elfinly masculine analog (perhaps) of Legionnaire Dream Girl, or maybe a fellow Naltorian with the same indigenous prognostication power as she. Who knows? Anyway, it was mostly a fine illustration, however someone had gotten into a bit of a twist over the illo’s vaguely androgynous look, and then someone else got into an even tighter twist over someone calling someone a “deviant” and then calling for the mods or the admins or Mommy or Pop to squelch the heretics for blasphemy, homophobia, apostasy, and transphobia. And I’m only kidding about two of those crimes. So by now I’m wondering, “What happened to the fun and the camaraderie? Aren’t we all deviants on this bus?”

So of course I have to weigh in.
A deviant is that which deviates from the norm.
Norms and their derivatives the deviants are simply mathematical constructs. We expect the norm because it is the most common, and we are sometimes surprised by deviations depending on their rarity.
So what exactly is the problem with “deviant”(a concept that embraces the left-handed in a right-handed population and the lactose intolerant in a lactose digesting population equally)?
There is neither anything exalted about normal nor anything disgraceful about deviation.
I recommend a dose of Trichillin.
(from the makers of Chillax, use only as directed)

And then, just because that was too reasonable, I had to add a little more.
Or remove me for insufficient piling on.

Correspondent JK asserts that I “can’t be that stupid”, without specifying exactly HOW he thinks I’m being stupid. Since I am riddled with doubts I thought it might be prudent to go back and check my math and English. Nah, there’s no need to check my math, or the statistics, as many minorities are abundantly obvious. As for English, Merriam-Webster’s first definition of “deviant” refers to it as an adjective, to describe something that has deviated from the norm — as in deviant results, deviant data, or deviant behavior. The SECOND definition vindicates my usage, as it is a person whose characteristics or behavior deviates from the norm. And still, deviations remain good, bad, OR indifferent, according to circumstances.

Correspondent JM recommends that I depart for the Nether Kingdom, and also possibly to Spoil the Friendly Urchins(?). It’s a little hard to make out through his seething ire. Often it seems that the greatest outrage is that others aren’t outraged enough. I cheerfully reply.
Or simply anger on… as umbrage is so ambrosial… Happy Daze!

Apparently not one to be mollified, JM cuts me deeply with “Quiet down troll,” and goes on to declare (I presume) that I have a “fake profile.” This, somehow, is “very brave” of me. Meanwhile, admins seem to provide JM no succor, just as JM provides no clue as to what aspects of my profile he believes are fraudulent or courageous.

I may have developed too thick a skin after a lifetime of deviation… Tough.  I am a multi-threat deviant myself: anarchist in a statist world, atheist in a mystic world, polyamorist in a monogamist world, and a shameless fan of super-heroic fantasy in a “them funny books is fer kids” world. You don’t think I know from ridicule? The fact is, every one of us who participates on this forum is a deviant. So what?

Chameleon Boy, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Colossal Boy, Gigi Cusimano, Cosmic Boy, Triplicate Girl (all depicted by Steve Lightle), Shvaugn Erin, and Jan (Element Lad) Arrah (both depicted by Colleen Doran & Al Gordon), are all held de jure by Detective Comics and Warner Communications.  Their images are reproduced by Piracy Press for purposes of analysis and scholarship.  If anything, their use here constitutes free advertisement for DC‘s properties at the considerable expense of Piracy Press and Greigh Area Associates.

Stories are selected with the greatest of discrimination, but even numbered issues of Daring Love are specifically edited with the prurient interests of atavistic fanboys in mind.  Reader discretion is advised.

“Slapped Down” (early February 1986, GT)

Our outstretched hand was slapped down on January 28th by a merciless fate. To be sure, there are those who will take the shuttle explosion as an omen to scurry back to our caves lest a vengeful nature seek us out and inflict more ill upon a presumptuous mankind. The weak of heart and the short of sight will admonish us to take our swollen, stinging hand and relish the pain as a lesson not to think so highly of ourselves that we would yearn for the universe.

They are wrong, of course, just as they have been wrong for all of history. It is not to the faint of heart that nature reveals herself. It is to the daring and the bold. Without this drive for knowledge, man is no more than a great ape.

The lesson of the catastrophe is not just that exploration is a risky business. It is part of an even greater truth: Life itself is dangerous. Those who condemn the proponents of space exploration will no doubt continue to drive automobiles, fly in airplanes, and purchase electrical appliances for their homes. There is no safe technology, there is only the acceptance of minor risks — that can prove to be killers — to be balanced against benefits to our physical, intellectual, and moral well-being.

For a moment, Challenger was our outstretched hand toward the cosmos, and then it was slapped down. But, if sometime in the future the manifests of Discovery, Columbia, or Atlantis find themselves short by about seventy kilograms of warm protein, I would be happy to oblige.

update 181115: once again correspondent TM exercises his editorial prerogative and “corrects” my work. For some reason (human error? conflation? caprice?), upon publication, the word “manifests” was replaced with “destinies” and the elegant and poetic expression “short of sight” was truncated to the blunter and cruder “short-sighted.”
Upon additional reflection, it occurs to me that The Daring and the Bold would be a great title for an anthology comic book series, except that DC beat me to it long ago with The Brave and the Bold.  Besides, Lethargy Lad already has his hands full with Daring Love and Daring Features.

* don’t miss these great issues *

 Hawkman, Triplicate Girl, Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, Supergirl, Phantom Girl, Stone Boy, Flame Lad, Polar Boy, Chlorophyll Kid, Night Girl,Superboy, the Legion of Super-Heroes, the Legion of Substitute Heroes, & the Army of Living Kryptonite Men are all held de jure by Detective Comics and Warner Communications.  Their images are reproduced by Piracy Press for purposes of analysis and scholarship.  If anything, their use here constitutes free advertisement for DC‘s properties at the considerable expense of Piracy Press and Greigh Area Associates.

Stealth antiFA assassin adjusts white supremacist demographic?

11 November 2018

Heroic lefties strike at the heart of Henry Ford’s legacy?
Country music is steeped in white privilege.

For days since the horrific attack in Thousand Oaks, the main stream speculation mill seems to have been uncharacteristically quiet.
Usually by now there would have been lectures about…
Racism… militant Islam… gun culture… mental disease…
This time, so far, not so much. What has been reported has been —
“black clad… masked assailant… smoke bombs… blitz attack…”
The tactics of sucker-punchin’ punks.

Similarities abound and questions remain.

What I do believe is that it is NOT the fault of Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Heavy Metal, Reefer, or the NRA.

Saudi Crimes

22 October 2018

There has been a great deal of breast-beating and tooth-gnashing lately over the killing of Jamal Khashoggi –admittedly a despicable crime — yet nary a peep over the regular murders of homosexuals, atheists, and apostates by that same House of Saud, nor their continuing holocaust in Yemen.

Why?
Are the “outrage-o-meters” of most Americans miscalibrated?
Or is it that Saudi Arabia is “America’s friend?”

But “America” has no friends, because “America,” as a cognitive actor, does not exist. Our occupation government has an agenda, and they have interests, and often the House of Saud and the Israeli Knesset (“House of Saul”) and the British Parliament (“House of Clod”) are aligned with those interests. Often the governments of Iran and Russia and Syria are not aligned with those interests; therefore, they are “America’s enemies.”

The previous governments of Iraq and Lybia were not aligned with those interests, and paid heavily for their impudence. Unlike Hussein and Qadafi however, “Pecs” Putin has nukes, which gives our bankster owners pause.

Weights and Measures

7 October 2018

Correspondent KM shows astonishing insight into the hearts of her adversaries as she writes that “the goal of English-only advocates… [is] to create grounds for discrimination, based on racism,” rather than to promote clarity and cultural comity. Charges of racism have become all too common and all too tedious and all too meaningless of late, yet somehow they retain their pungent arrogant condescension. Or maybe she’s right. Anything to stop the hordes of Danes and Czechs and Letts and Swedes from diluting the rich caramel macchiato that is America today.

While the united States en masse have no official language, many of the individual States exercise their legislative prerogative and recognize English. Hawaii (at least) is officially bilingual. I wouldn’t put a lot of effort into promoting any sort of official action myself. I’d rather have the market cater to my whims than have the state push me around.

As a monolingual Anglophone, I’m naturally more comfortable with and adept at English.  Irrespective of that, and of KM’s demerit for having played the race card, there does seem to be Constitutional authority for an official tongue. Congress has authority to establish uniform weights and measures, and language, at its base, is a measure of meaning.

These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars” in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates, c/o Gene Greigh //  401 Rio Concho Drive;  San Angelo, Texas;  76903