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The Ups

24 December 2017

As long as I can remember I’ve been beset by The Ups.

Because I am lazy and averse to confrontation, I tend to let small offenses slide. Since many nuisances are ephemeral, there’s often no practical benefit to correcting the thoughtless and the discourteous. Rather than SPEAKING UP about a small issue, I’ll blow it off. Unfortunately, to the commonest form of ignorant savage, such a demeanor is oft taken as approval of their misbehavior, so they “think” that “it don’t matter.”

Then, once I’ve reached my saturation point, I will elaborate over what I see as an accumulation of offenses, and what the malefactor feels is an isolated incident. So I’ll go on and on and on to the point of hectoring tedium. In short, I have a hard time, once I get started, with SHUTTING UP.

Finally, as a frequently stubborn monomaniac, I can immerse myself in a puzzle or problem or project, often to the point of oblivious unconcern for other pressing issues. Once I get my teeth into a problem I am disinclined to let it go. As an engineer or an accountant, I understand that we will reach an “optimum solution” to a problem, or a realization that said problem is not really worth pursuing, but as an up-challenged fellow, I still have a very hard time GIVING UP.

I rarely quit, and if it appears from the outside that I have, I would caution observers against mistaking giving up for chickening out. I’m no quitter, but I am a coward. And that explains my relationship with tobacco. I love tobacco. I love the smell, the taste, and the psychoactive effect. It’s a wonder drug! I did not love the rattle in my chest when, as a much younger man, I had simply trotted up two flights of stairs. I have not tasted it since 1989, and, like Killer, what I miss most about it is blowing smoke in the faces of people who tell me I should quit. But I’m no longer a practicing butthead, so I don’t get to do that anymore.

above, Killer and his pal Beetle Bailey hitting on an Italian babe.
by Mort Walker

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Nature’s Balm

21 June 2021 — According to the friend of a guy* my cousin knows:
“Narcissists have no capacity for context or proportion.  Either you see things their way or you must be crushed into the ground.  You cannot respectfully agree to disagree with them.  Any criticism or difference of opinion is a challenge to their ‘authority, power, and control’ and is seen as a threat and will be treated with as such and you will be demeaned, debased, dehumanized and distrusted.”
And: “Such is the case with bating.  The narcissist knows how to push your buttons to get you to engage in his or her game.  Don’t engage!” ( * Greg Zafuto? )

14 November 2021
(meter stolen from David Frizzel)
The more I learn what bugs you, the less there’s left to say.
It seems that I get on your nerves a little more each day.
And though you say that’s not the case, and we still need to share,
While you insist we tell the truth, I know that I don’t dare.
They say that tears are Nature’s Balm, and not to be deplored,
But when they spring from cruelty, they’re more of a reward.
I’ll cherish my sweet anguish, so there’s no need to grieve.
If I can keep my lips shut tight, you need not disbelieve.

230601 — “So glad we’re done with that ass”
We won’t see Lehr every morning, we won’t have Lehr overnight.
He’s the guy who doesn’t know he’s never right, never right.
He’s abrasive and offensive; it’s like he doesn’t care,
So from now on, we’ll have no more Lehr, have no more Lehr.

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A Cost/Benefit Analysis

4 September 2022

correspondents Jizeg and Ffjigh wish to make it known that it costs only $0.00 to remind someone that they are not alone in the world.

I’m not convinced about that figure.
Not knowing the exchange rate, the fact that it requires finite time and effort is still not sufficient information, but it seems likely to be over $0.00.
Unless it is being suggested that that is the net cost, in which case it’s still amazing that the costs and benefits would so exactly match each other!

Frankly, I think I’m actually getting the better end of the deal.

Because, at least in the philosophical all mankind sense,
I love Jizeg and Ffjigh and you.
And I derive benefit from sharing that.

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Contra Krugman

23 August 2022

Bob (“The MurphDawg“) Murphy is like the zestiest of spices. I don’t want a pure diet of him, but when he’s not there I miss him. Why can’t “Contra Krugman” (and the Contra Cruise) be revived with a rotating roster of analysts, featuring occasionally, among others, Bob & Tom (“The Old Man“) Woods themselves?
(and because I’m vain, and prideful and lustful &c… I’d like credit for suggesting it)

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Injecting a Third Dimension

19 August 2022

Give the Yang Gang credit for their latest shot at relevance.

The present political landscape, dominated as it is by Repucrats and Demoblicans, is pretty flat and two-dimensional. Still with only two dimensions, we have identified a number of directions. Broadly speaking, Dems go left, Reps go right, Reds and Greens go down, and Libertutionists and Constitarians rise above.

But now we have Andrew Yang showing us the way Forward.
Smells to me like that Progressive scam that’s been skewering us for the last century or so.

(credit where it’s due: Responding to Yang’s consistent citation of “common sense consensus,” Jolly Jimmy Acosta describes the group as a “fill in the blank party.”)

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Because it’s never not about Trump

15 August 2022

I swiped the above graphic from correspondent BA, who lifted it from Balance of Power, and I think it’s cute, and even apt in light of the current battle in The War on Orange Hitler. Still, I am put off by its singular focus. The crimes of the ruling class are vast and various, and El Donaldo’s constitute kerfuffles in comparison. Still, dead Yemeni children is sobering… Correspondent HJ goes so far as to recommend dusting off Ol’ Sparky as a solution to our “Trump problem.”

As I am opposed to the State administering a death penalty, in my ideal scenario, after their war crimes trials, Tjump, and Obama, and Dubya, and Bubba will all be cellies assigned to cleaning the restrooms in VA hospitals. (Of course, if they tried to escape, they should be shot down like the mad dogs they are.) Poppy is excused on account o’ bein’ dead, and Jimmeh should be sentenced to time served with his Habitat for Humanity gig.

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Monkey Pox from the Spree

29 July 2022 — (meter stolen from Boudleaux & Felice Bryant)

I got schtupped real hard in Central Park.
The rave spilled out from the Ritz.
My boyfriend said, “You’re the best I’ve ever had.
Pay no attention to the zits.”

Pustulence! And weeping sores!
Now emerge on me!
Full blown Monkey Pox,
Get a fresh case from me!
Home grown Monkey Pox,
It can be yours for free!



17 May 2023 — (meter stolen from Sammy Cahn & Jimmy van Heusen)
Pits and asshole, pits and asshole,
Scrub ’em good so they won’t be a hassle,
To our tender senses!
Your poor hygiene can be offensive!
Try, try, try to do a good job,
It’s, so amazing.
You’ll find nothing’s so relaxing…
As, just bathing.
Oils and ointments, rubbing lotion,
Escape your troubles when you take the notion,
Of a brief vacation.
A soothing soak is medication!

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Ending the F’eral Reserve

27 July 2022

correspondent Tyguop-Ojgezfe Wumim wonders what happens after we End the Fed. It seems like we’re dependent on their system. I wonder how long it would take, and if anyone is prepared for the chaos the transition will create.

There are a multitude of transactional options available with a robust de-regulated securities market and instantaneous communication. You may well be faced with the agonizing choices of GoldPass, The Confederate Mint, or DigitalExpress all vying for your trade, be they Silver Dollars, grams of gold, or the latest electric tulip bulbs. Greedy merchants and savvy consumers always find “… uh… a way.”

Wumim opines further: I’ve heard people talking about global resets and money magically appearing…I think it will be precious metals, clean water, and land.

I’m not so sure about magical reappearances, but I do know that there are already lots of gold and silver coins out there, and people will adjust to them as quickly as needed to get dinner on the table. Of course, all transitions are awkward and clumsy and uncomfortable, but practice makes improvement. Money is anything that holds value (beaver pelts, grams of gold, silver quarters, clean water, high test hootch, canned goods, ammunition…) and currency is anything that circulates in place of money. For millennia, after every fiat fiasco, we have always returned to gold and silver coin.

15 October 2022

In order for a State to “end inflation” it must nullify the unconstitutional legal tender laws, repudiate the F’eral Reserve, and reinstitute lawful money in the form of gold and silver coin. The US Constitution does not prohibit any of those acts, any more than it prohibits secession. But FedGov is still more heavily armed.

These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or 
Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars”
in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates,
c/o Gene Greigh // 401 Rio Concho Drive, #105;  San Angelo, Texas; 76903

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Anarchists Rule!

26 July 2022

not a true story:
I tried using L’Hospital’s Rule once, but all the inches were marked “0/0”

a true story: Walking home from work in Corn Valley one day (ca 1984) I spied a large, spray-painted graffito proclaiming that “Metal Rules!” Lacking my own spray-can, I was unable to satisfy my urge to write “Gum Erasers!” and “Plastic Protractors!” next to it.

20 October 2022 (Happy Birthday Sugar!)

Most of us are pack animals. We are hardwired to help each other. That’s why it feels good to do good. Whereas, REQUIRING us to “help” or to “contribute” triggers our contrarian reflexes, and we look upon such external “obligations” as theft, aggression, or interference. This is why tax-funded “welfare” is universally disastrous.
correspondent Mypogdyf Mymink responds: “Individuals do not have the means to amass and distribute anything to anyone other than in their immediate circle. We will always need a government safety-net to make sure that the elderly and children do not starve. It’s not for lack of wanting to help, people simply do not have the machinery necessary. Without a uniform plan paid for by our taxes, people will begin dying faster than they already are from all the other causes. I am not some starry eyed optimist. I am a realist.“
The machinery already exists in the form of communication and community and churches. Uniform plans are not suitable for unique circumstances, and taxation, supported by threats of violence, engenders more resentment than compassion, and also fuels widescale graft not feasible on smaller human scales. I am not some starry-eyed optimist, I am a starry-eyed cynic.

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So… “Queer” is no longer a slur?

25 July 2022

I have a hard time keeping up, but I recall it being unabashedly declared (and not challenged by fawning interviewers) by proudly confessed homosexuals that (and I paraphrase from imperfect memory) “queer folk will not surrender their dignity.” Also, I have heard it assertively pronounced as the meaning of the “Q” (along with its competitor “questioning” at about an equal pace) in “LGBTQ an’ on…” I further understand that certain abbreviations, like fag or dyke, are presently considered to be not fit for polite conversation, but if queer is back, as a convenient monosyllable, then I’m in! It’s much better than (and less approximate) than the more ambiguous and often misleading gay.