Category: snivelry

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Capital Crime

9 March 2018

“It’s only money. You can always get some more.”

Generally true. It is not a disaster of pestilential proportions to lose your wallet or to have your purse snatched, but it’s NOT “only money.” Money is just the most convenient form that you can manage to make of your talents, your efforts, and your IRREPLACEABLE TIME. Time is all we ever get, ultimately, to experience and create and savor life. When we are robbed, then, we are robbed of life. Admittedly small fractions, but finite nevertheless, and they add up. I’m not about to get all Ye Olde Testament on ya’ll and propose the gallows for purse snatchers and second story men, but, well… there is a limit.

Why do we punish homicide more than most other crimes? More than taxation, which is fractional (if persistent and cumulative), homicide is complete. It is the deprivation of an entire lifetime of experience and wonder and joy. Whether it’s for profit or pleasure or because of egregious and depraved indifference, if you kill it is not unreasonable to expect some communities to string you up or lock you up or otherwise contain the clear and present danger you present.

If we punish homicide to answer the loss of an entire lifetime, we might ask, “What exactly is an entire lifetime?” Let’s get metrical and let’s be generous. In contracts and statutes, terms are specific. Let’s say a lifetime is one million hours. That’s a nice round number and it works out to about 114 years. Not common, but not unprecedented either, and medicos continue to refine their craft.

Ever been in a traffic jam? Now multiply your anguish by the legions around you. Some severe traffic jams can add up to thousands of lost manhours. No fun time, but no hanging offense, either. Most of us feel for the poor schmuck whose tire blew out up ‘round the next bend. Besides, we make allowances for accidents. Now blow up a major bridge over the Ohio River during rush hour  —  and amazingly not kill a single motorist in the doing so. Even without immediate fatality, the resulting mess would back up literally for miles and hours. Along such a presumed major traffic corridor the loss of irreplaceable time could easily go into the millions of manhours.

Ever suffer a cyber attack? Virus infect your desk top? How much time did you spend recovering (or recreating) files? Were you alone in your experience or was this one of the notorious wide scale infestations? These deliberate acts of sabotage could easily end up squandering several megamanhours, even if the concomitant damage doesn’t result in any crashed aircraft or botched surgeries. These destructive and dangerous programs are launched intentionally for purposes of enrichment, amusement, and self-aggrandizement.

I’d say “Hangin’s too quick fer ‘em” if I weren’t so tender-hearted.
It is for just such tricks that we want Ol’ Sparky at the ready.
Due process first, please.

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Salute and Thanks to Tom Woods (who still gives me WAAAAAAAY too much credit.)

September 23, 2017

Five minutes, he says, five minutes and I’m supposedly ’b logging. About an hour into this trauma and it’s still not fun.

update 170925: Into day three of my “five minute” ordeal. Obviously I can get in and edit, and probably even post, but still only through the handy e-mail portal that blue host sent me. And roundaboutly at that! However, I still cannot get in through the site itself… lower right of the screen… META… Log in… you’d think that’s where they’d take my e-dress and (ridiculously complicated) passcode…

Heavy sigh…

update 171112: Posting again… After six weeks I’ve cracked PART of the secret code; now I can get in other than accidentally, albeit through blue host’s “convenient” e-portal. Remote access is still a no go. I may have to suffer the “help” desk again. And graphics? That could be years away…

Also Tom, by explicit contextual definition, since I have not yet monetized this trauma, I remain a schmuck. (Maybe the reason “nobody ever does anything” is because “nothing ever works.”)

I hope you’re bearing with me. I have long been challenged by syntactical disciplines. It began, I am told (by parents and an older brother who were all there), with the English language. I did not speak for well past the expected period, and folks were beginning to wonder, “Is there something wrong with that boy?” As it turned out, there was. Nevertheless, one day at dinner I suddenly spewed forth both proper grammar and genteel table etiquette. (“Please pass the potatoes.”)

The painfully embarrassing cognitive debility extended to junior high French also, constituting my single scholastic failure, as well as to Les Mysteres Cybernetique.

correspondent TE (180111):
“Please understand: I want to help you. But you have to help me help you. I need an About page that is extremely straightforward. No jokes, no wit. Just plain Jane: this is what this site is. These are the opinions you can expect to find here. Otherwise, I am unable to promote your site effectively.”

update 180115: Composed and drafted an “About page” (sober complement to my “The Greigh Area…” description post), and while I sent the (implicitly) requested text and link, I still can’t figure out how to make it appear without loading “an about page” into the handy “Search” window. I suppose it doesn’t count if I don’t touch third base…
I hope this helps. It seems a little flat to me, but I’ll have to live with it for a while. I’m not sure how I’d find it again if I hadn’t recorded its address, as follows: http://thegreigharea.com/an-about-page/
I expect there are less cumbersome ways of going about this…

update 180119: WOW! I somehow tripped over the graphics switch, and after several hours of thumb-fingered fumbling, I now have illustrations!
I am tempted to find an unflattering photo of you, Tom, to post at the top of this rant, but I doubt that any exist.
My anger and frustration lie squarely on me. I’m sorry if I’ve allowed my careless wallowing to splash any of it out of my trough.
Oh! And look! I seem to have an “installed Plugin“. Where did that come from? Or was it always there? How did it happen? Did I trip over some new switch… ?

( from episode 1095 // 180215 — Tom’s late Valentine? )

“All right, now folks, you know that I promote websites that are created by people who listen to the show. And if they use my link to get their web hosting they get a good price on it, and they get free publicity from me and a bunch of other very very helpful bonuses that’ll get them free traffic, get them up and running quickly, get them help when they need it, they’re great bonuses, and you know you can get ‘em at Tom Woods dot com slash publicity.

Well I have to confess I do not know how to promote this particular website. I’ve tried, I’ve talked to the guy. I just don’t know how to promote it. The website is The Greigh Area dot com, but it’s spelled G R E I G H, because his name is Gene Greigh, so the Greigh Area dot com. You just have to see Gene Greigh’s writing for yourself. That’s all I can say.
If I tried to explain it to you, I don’t think I’ll be able to do it justice. The site consists of excerpts from works of fiction, published and in progress, poetry, but also, and I would say primarily, commentary on cultural matters, political, historical, even personal matters, much of it intended to be humorous. I don’t know what else to say, other than, I’m just going to have you be surprised when you go to The Greigh Area dot com.

update 180216: In fact, as far as I can tell, Professor Woods has delivered everything he’s promised. All flaws rest with this miserable troglodyte, who continues to struggle, as arcana mystify and confrontation confounds…

update 180218: So was that remorse I detected in Tom’s voice? Or consternation or exasperation or impatience or pique? Irritation? I wouldn’t blame him. I suppose we can be a bit of a trial — but he asked for it! As a consequence of his trauma he deserves every scintilla of attention we’ll offer and every milliray of mammon he can collect.
Nevertheless, I for one, remain grateful and resolve to go back to the end of episode 1095 and listen to Tom’s intro to my poor efforts, and DIGEST. EVERY. WORD.
Then go back to those intimidating tutorial videos again.
Then maybe into my time machine so I can make a better first impression.

update 180222: Bluehost has locked me out again. This is very frustrating. It’s difficult enough to learn this stuff without having chaotic cyber tricks giving me different results, even though I KEEP. DOING. THE SAME. THING.! “Five minutes,” Tom? “FIVE MINUTES?” Look, it’s been almost FIVE MONTHS, and while I’ve managed to get a little text up on the screen (the whole point of this exercise in anguish), I still don’t know how to get in and out reliably. When it permits, I get in through the portal that was provided in September, but I still have no clue as to how to get in remotely. Presumably through the “META“ function, which solicits a “user name or e-mail address, which I provide, then it asks for the ridiculously cumbersome and difficult to remember passcode blue host requires (instead of the easy convenient one that I can remember), which I provide. Instead of letting me in, it rejects my efforts. Also, it would be nice to “stick” my “about page” somewhere near the top of the file, or at least give it a recoverable label so new visitors can readily call it up.. That would be nice.
Dang! I think I’m going to actually have to talk to these people. Please let the next one actually speak English, instead of Cyberlogue, which only sounds like English I’m also going to have to wait to post this diatribe until I can get back in, so it waits on “Word” until I can wake up “wordpress.”

update 180228: Aaaaaaand back in! Just in case I am banish-ed from your in box AND you happen to glance here…
Dr Woods,
You have been very gracious. I appreciate your enormous patience. (Perhaps I am the beneficiary of your training with five daughters.)
I am pleased that you’ve seen fit to post a link to my site even though some of my vocabulary is inconsistent with your “family-friendly” philosophy (as I understand it), so thank you for the extra-contractual kindness.
As if you haven’t done enough for us, I have two additional requests (although one might be convolved enough to count as more).
Because I am a dithering fool I’ve lost the link to the twenty-five tutorials which you were kind enough to send me lo these many months ago. May we refresh the link or am I out of luck? I have managed to get a little text up on the screen, and somehow tripped over some of the secrets of graphics. But now I am locked out again (as of 2/18?), so I’m actually going to have to talk to these people. At least so I can get back in, maybe even remotely. Then to study study study…
May I know your advertising criteria? (Bucks per time increment — prerecorded v Tom’s recitation, and whether the phrase “…and I’m only saying this because he’s paying me to” would require any premium beyond the time it takes you to read it.)
I remain eager for your response, a loyal fan, and hoping that I am not damaging our relationship with my clingy neediness or embarrassing ineptitude.

update 180804:
As usual, I am a problem.

I just sent you 27 bucks for your “HappyEarner” program, and cheerfully so, wishing that I’d done so on the 23rd of September last when I first opened up this “start blogging in five minutes” nightmare.

If it measures up to the hype attached then I am going to send you another 27 bucks to squander as foolishly as you wish (even on progressive rock, if you can stand it). I am skeptical, but not necessarily of your benign intent. It is possible that I am THE most cybernetically retarded libertarian on the planet. It’s unavoidable that it be someone. Why not me? Do you know any other alleged grownups who are LESS adept at this stuff? In fact, I’d try to impose intellectual property rights on the neologism “Etard” (or “Schmuck” in Woodsian dialect), except that, as an anarcho-materialist, I have no respect for “IP.”

Anyway, I just want to express to you that despite the snark, and my own frustration with my incompetence, I have great respect and high regard for you and your good works, and am convinced that your every commercial move is honorable.

You’ve alluded to some of your own earlier frustrations, so perhaps you might consider bundling your “HappyEarner” offer with your “start blogging in five minutes” offer.

update 180922: “Outside of comedy…”? OUTSIDE? Please, Tom, we are some of the funniest people on line who don’t get paid for it. I know, some of us are a bit juvenile, and a few rather profane, but still… “Outside of comedy…”? Even an extra-bad ‘b logger such as myself, a veritable digital doofus, can feel the sting! And while we are often not as funny as we think, we are also funnier than we realize.

Licking my wound…
Gene

update 181025: Having surrendered to my debility, as painfully mature as that sounds, I’ve dropped a few more Fe’ral Reserve Digits for the special hand-holding service offered by “wordpresslive” so that I might actually pull myself out of these pitiable depths of non-monetizing schmuckitude.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I gave those tutorials a shot, but they are so heavy with jargon that I can’t seem to start. I keep running for the glossary and more often than not find obfuscation rather than clarification. It’s now been an additional thirteen months since I tried ’b logging “in five minutes” and this is how I‘m doing. So far I’ve had at least TWO VISITORS (that I can discern, because they bothered to comment.) Maybe more but I have no way of telling, as I still don‘t know how to count “hits.”. I hope with the tender technicians’ help I might break up this cumbersome column and make the screen a little more than just text text text.

update 181107: correspondent TE claims that, “People in academia are so lost in their own jargon and lexicon, they have no idea how difficult they’re making things on the ordinary Joe.”
Perfectly apt, of course, with two caveats.
One minor: You can substitute the name of just about any other cadre for “academia” and it rings just as true.
One major: Many in their respective cadres do indeed have a very good idea of how difficult they are making things, as they are doing it on purpose. After all, language reveals, slang conceals; language includes, slang excludes.

update 181208: And at long last I have an “About” page that is NOT INVISIBLE to visitors. Assuming one can read English, now when arriving at the site one will find a menu with the actual words “an ‘About’ page” listed. This is much more convenient than entering “about” in the search window which was one’s only recourse for the last five minutes or fourteen months. The original that the “helpful” tutorials instructed me to establish remains concealed at http://thegreigharea.com/an-about-page/

The bizarre text at the beginning was suggested by the Standard English Obfuscators at Yeost (alleged on-line vendors) as a way of improving my site’s visibility. I’m not sure it actually works, as I’m still unable to count visitors. It just looks ugly and I rather strongly suspect that I’ve been scammed again.

update 190111: It may be for the best. I lost my identification and bank card a month or so back. It was a fairly cheaply bought valuable lesson. They may have been disappeared or destroyed, but they were not charged before I canceled them. Still, trauma remained. Called the creditors who were expecting to lean on my account based on our monthly agreements, and got them up to date so I wasn‘t risking any serious lapses.

HOWever… while the bluehost billing department was perfectly willing to update and bill me for another year of hosting, the hand-holding tutorial section of the biz was unwilling to accept the word of their own accounting department to extend my “help“ subscription, demanding that I send them a mysteriously coded e-message instead. The two or three months of expensive “assistance“ resulted in a table of contents reflecting more coherent “categories.” I guess they no longer will honor my calls or accept my dough. So be it. I‘ll continue to stagger forward on the merits of my (spotty) ability to read and understand English toward a more “WoodsWorthyWebsite“ (trade name bounty?) or ‘b log. After the recent trauma, perhaps the alleged tutorials might seem a little less jargon heavy, and maybe even comprehensible. It doesn’t seem likely that they’d be LESS clear by now.

A WordPress Tutorial Videos Revue (stream of conscious commentaries accompanying the campaign to conquer a shallow learning curve)

190129: “How to Install a Theme”
jargon dump: theme… dashboard…
Start from “dashboard“?
“click on right here” — look for “right here” key? or “One Penny”?
Wait a minute… before “here on appearance, click on themes” there was motion on the screen as cursor moved onto tab, but…?
Again with “One Penny” Who is that? Do I find it near my “dashboard” Is this the secret starter program ya’ll won’t share?
“add new” and ignore talk of “if you’ve purchased a theme”
Should see display of six pictures of “themes”?
Okeh… I watched that video several times, took careful notes and went to my “dashboard” and COULD NOT FIND either the “One Penny” key or the “Right Here” key. So I’m blocked!
Well, reviewing the video, and looking at my site (such as it is) it may all be moot. I’m not sure, but I may have already somehow “selected a theme.” I do a lot of fumbling around at this ‘b logging, largely motivated by the threat of “touch that strange button and lose files!”
It does seem I have an “appearance” key, I just have to follow a different trail to get to it! Nevertheless, the screen it delivers is rather different from the tutorial’s allegations, so still not much help…


190130: “How to Install a Plugin”
jargon dump: plugin…
Start from dashboard… “over here” “plugin” “add new“
Now I could search for or upload a plug-in, or even buy one, apparently, but I still don‘t know why I‘d want to. What is it? What does it do? In what way does it make starting easier or faster?
It feels already like the trainer who starts with, “You need to remember to do e,f, and, g, but before that you should make sure that c and d are straight, but first…” Okeh, back to our program…
“HIDE POST?” “HIDE POST?” What’s all this? Why on earth would I want to HIDE my posts? The whole point of this is so the world can SEE my posts. Oy McVey! …ahem… now then…”Hiding posts…”
Okeh, “activate…” that makes a kind of sense. If I wanted it I’d probably want to activate it. But still… Why did I want this? To hide posts?
WHOA! Someone thinks I bought a LOT of plugins! That is one monumental megalith of a list! And I still have no clue why I might want ONE let alone such a selection as shown! And this is an early tutorial? Do they get even more ridiculous and confusing after this? Or am I being scammed here?
“open” and “install now” and “activate plugin” are all straightforward instructions. Thanks at least for that!
Not quite understanding what “themes“ or “plugins“ might be, I apparently need to master those ideas BEFORE I attempt the dark arts of “Home Pages.” I guess I was naively thinking that one would START with a home page, get an idea of what I wanted to say with it, AND THEN maybe discuss the possible advantages of “themes“ or “styles“ or “motifs“ and the possible additional utility of “plugins“ or “tools“ or “napps“ or “accessories.” But that appears to be anon, as this is has been enough frustration for one day.

update 21 December 2023 — Six Years and Five Minutes later…

I may be the stupidest of Tom Woods‘ fans. I may also (but less likely) be the smartest of his fans. That is not a contradiction because those are independent phenomena; neither is the absence of the other.

Anyway, about two months ago I got hit by an unsolicited “upgrade” from WordHost or BluePress or more likely one of the cyberweasels working there. No flowers, no candy, no poetry, no lubricants, just straight brutal upgrade. I tried negotiating my way in, but they rejected my customary approach, which had theretofore worked just fine, which was probably the reason they had to sodomi– uh… “upgrade” me. I finally got through to an apparent human through “chat” and after a couple of hours of anguish, I finally wore him down enough for him to eschew the cyberlogue and to actually begin communicating in English. Obviously, I’m now back in, albeit through a newly confusing and circuitous route. But it works and I’m not fucking with it, at least not until the next unsolicited “upgrade.”

I’m not sure what’s more annoying: the arrogant condescension of the cognoscenti who’ve apparently forgotten that they too were born ignorant, or the arrogant presumption of team fans (they call themselves “sports fans,” but I’ve learned to see through that contemptible lie) who figure everybody they meet also MUST BE a team fan, too, and is therefore ready to discuss “the game” in excruciatingly mind-numbing detail.

Oy McFuckingVey!


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“SORTA” working for it?

Is it because politicians are tone-deaf and don’t realize how upsetting it is for tax victims to see their stolen money squandered? Or is it because our dear leaders realize how complacent we are that they believe they can reward failure (again) to the tune of a 17.5% salary hike for the bumbling bureaucrat who “SORTA” works for it? (“Amid problems, streetcar leader gets big raise” — Enquirer 18 February 18)

I’m gonna have to go with confident in our complacency. No one could be that tone-deaf or stupid. Except voters. After all, we keep reelecting Repucrats and Demoblicans, even though sober, rational, and viable Libertutionists and Constitarians appear on the ballot just about every election. But we can’t vote for them, because “they can’t win.” And why can’t they win? Because we only vote for Demoblicans and Repucrats, of course. It’s a tidy circle, and it is the rhetorical equivalent of the child’s “just because.”
180218

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We Are Doomed

22 November 2010 (Daily Paul)

The Federal Reserve Account Unit of Debt (aka the Federal Reserve Note fiat “dollar”) will tank. Let me repeat that. It WILL tank. The only question is: How fast, how catastrophically, and how much will it hurt?

If it continues its slow slide into oblivion, we will all be hurt, a little at a time, though the least able to afford it will be hurt the most. That’s what’s been happening for decades. In the history of fiat currencies, paper money ALWAYS disintegrates. If the decline accelerates (think Weimar Republic), the residue could be catastrophic, and tyranny will rush in through the window of opportunity.

If Dr Paul and the rest of the hard money advocates get our way, we will put the brakes on the Federal Reserve scam, restabilize the currency, and then we will be facing a mild to severe recession as misspent resources are reallocated into more rational and productive enterprises. Little people will get hurt while the dinosaurs thrash about in their death throes.

If we do nothing, then we face even greater danger (think of the immediate heirs to the Weimar Republic.)

That’s our challenge. We must try to sell immediate and certain economic discomfort as the only means to avoid greater and inevitable trauma. Promoting certain discomfort is an almost impossible political sell, but the only alternative to imminent discomfort is disaster, and the likeliest alternative to political correction is an orgy of violence not seen on this continent since the War Against the States.

I try to be optimistic and advocate for political salvation, but I’m also stocking up on gold, silver, canned goods, clean water, high test hootch, toilet paper, and ammunition.

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It may have SEEMED obvious…

020704 — To the Diva: If being gone was the problem, how is coming home not the solution?

190719 — To the Coach:  If doing too little work was the problem, how come doing more wasn’t the solution?

210109 — To the Axis:  If telling the truth caused the problem, how come lies don’t help?

211023 — The Difference:  I try to answer darkness with light; you try to answer with darker darkness.

from Jackson Browne, 1976 —  At the moment the music began, and you heard the guitar player starting to sing.  You were filled with the beauty that ran through what you were imagining.  Dreaming of scenes from those songs of love.  I was the endless sky, and you were my Mexican dove.  Now the music that played in your ears grows a little bit fainter each day.  And you find yourself looking through tears at the love you feel slipping away.  But it’s not the kind of love you might hope to find,  if tears could release the heart from the shadows preferred by the mind.    

Like a wind that comes up in the night caressing your face while you sleep, love will fill your eyes with the sights of a world you can’t hope to keep.  Dreaming on after that moment’s gone, the light in your lover’s eyes disappears in the light of the dawn.  But the morning brings strength to your restless wings and some other lover sings to the sun’s bright corona.  I know all about these things, linda paloma.

He reliably nails me every time.
I don’t need to write any of my own poetry.
211024

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Feet, say “Good-bye” to Rug. Face, say “Hello” to Concrete Floor.

14 May 2019

Since the I.T. weasels at “bluehost/wordpress” (rtm) have seen fit to throw more impediments in the way of my learning to ‘b log, I suppose I’m going to have to start over. Let’s reset that timer, then, and see how this works. With any luck I should be successfully ‘b logging any time, as it has been almost five minutes and twenty months now…

Such optimism, as invigorating and inspiring as it may be, is hardly warranted by the evidence. I am nowhere nearly as e-woak, sadly, as the hip groovy ‘b logsters of the plenum cybernium. But I am undaunted and undismayed and undeterred and committed to antagonizing the thoughtless, the careless, the evil, the shallow, and mostly, the egregiously anti-literate!

Tutorials Mark II
Overview: Well this is encouraging. “Overview” is new, and offers perhaps a general understanding of what’s to come. That’s a helpful difference already. .Perhaps Mark II (of the tutorial series at least) will be an actual improvement over Mark I.
I’m generally optimistic BEFORE I press “play.”

WAIT! WHAT?
Installing WordPress? What happened to OVERVIEW? And besides, hasn’t wordpress already been installed? I’ve got that already, haven’t I? Besides, I just copy in from my home program anyway. What’s the deal? Oh well, nothin’ for it but to press on…

That WAS the first video. Moving on…

Um… “Basics of wordpress?
C-PANEL! Look! It’s a C-Panel! Finally! Never seen one before. For months those pinheads at the “help” line have been yammering about “C-Panels” but never show me one! After twenty months I finally get to see!
And it looks like nothing I’ve seen anywhere on my own screen. How did they get there and what does it do?
That may have been yet another waste of effort. All of those unfamiliar screens and unexplained motion seemed to get finally to the familiar “dashboard” screen that I tripped over long ago.
When I think of all the HOURS I spent talking to the alleged “help” line and their fucking refusal to explain what a “c-panel” was, how to get to it, and what I was supposed to do when I got there, I begin to think that maybe “weasel” is a little too generous.
Must stew….

29 March 2020:  Bluehost still declines to welcome the innocent.  Apparently, a “theme” is not a motif, or a style, or a topic.  Its new (anti-intuitive and non-obvious) cyberlogue definition seems to be “format” or “layout” or “pattern” or “template” and refers NOT to the “style” or “look” or “motif” but to the relative dimensions or aspect ratios available on the screen.
Hmmm…  “Anti-intuitive” and “non-obvious”   Could there be a better recommendation than that for cyberlogue neologisms?  How better to keep the riff-raff out of the Elites’ playground?

28 August 2020 I would like to thank my friends and family, and the TWSE, for their kind assistance in making this website the attractive success that it is.  I’d like to, except they didn’t, and it isn’t, so I won’t.

31 August 2020 I’ve got another datum! I’ve got another datum! With these I can now get a better idea of the translation scale I need to understand the assurances and blandishments of the savvy marketeer. Given that “blogging in five minutes” is going on three years now, and well short of accomplishment, I can readily surmise that “takes literally no time to set up” could well mean additional hours of frustration. With additional data I should be able to start drawing some reasonable curves.

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Love Letters in the Air

undated, ca 1998? — Diva Dearest:  No one makes me laugh like you do, and no one I know laughs at my jokes the way you do.  I did have a rollicking good time at work tonight, and most of my material was well received, but there were moments when I wished you could be there with us.  You always make good times better.
In addition to sharing the same brain (mostly) I guess our strongest bond has to be that we share the same bad joke center in our brains.  (Was delicious blitzed bird — er — potted poultry — er — roast chicken)
I know you understand that I work this hard and this much for all of us, but I’m afraid sometimes that I shouldn’t be enjoying work as much as I do.  Why should I be having such fun when you’re stuck home?  It doesn’t seem fair, but then I’m the sort of person who’s going to have fun no matter what.  There’s GOT to be a pony in here somewhere!
I look forward to the time when I can be comfortable in taking it easier and not struggling so much to bring money into our lives and fighting to pay down our enormous debts.  I guess I can be a bit of a prick about it, but I feel strongly that we need this income to establish a little well-deserved and long overdue security.  Any way, I love you, and I’m sorry I can’t be as present as you’d like.  Yer sweetie always…

11 January 1999 —  Whatever you want, dear,
as long as you keep lifting your butt in the air for me.
update 210227:  As I recall, she did ask me to put it in writing.

3 May 2000 —  Should the horrific actually occur, & my airplane ends up at the bottom of the sea, please always remember that… Outrigger and Hilton owe us $.

14 February 2001 — Words once so abundant and beautiful,
have lately seemed so empty and debased.

update 210109:  Said “masterwork” is now available (see West of ’89)
“Granny” and “Pops” were clever allusions to Major Doma‘s pregnancy;
Drama Queen later expressed her preference for “Fairy God Mother”
She succumbed to a lifetime of physical ailments in 2017
(see Eulogy for a Drama Queen.)
Milli succumbed to elements unknown in 2015
(see Richard Milhous Nixon Brave Brave Sir Robin Axis Greigh)
And as far as Sugar and Bud go…  I think I may be on probation.
(see Singled Down)

30 September 2008
Your entreaties do not fall on deaf ears.  There is much to ponder these days, from cookies to colleges and everything in between.  It would not be prudent at this juncture to commit beyond the letter of our agreement without an income (& I am looking for work, alas!) but while weighing matters I am delighted to make interest free advance childcare payments while I consider options.  I would also retroactively adjust payments based on any increase in income (so I’ll get back to it!)  We’ll continue this discussion anon, but for now I hope this helps.
update 210227:  The cited advance payments were never actually deducted from future scheduled child support agreements after all.  I was fortunate enough to be able to help her out and let it go, though my wording did turn out to be a little contentious anyway.  But that was probably just knee-jerk Former Arch Nemesis reflexes on her part.

19 June 2022  —  Dear Early Riser,
I was saddened to learn, from Stargazer, via L’Historienne, that you’d taken another spill.  At one time I imagined that I’d be there for you, to catch you or to even prevent such mishaps.
Even though you have long ago released me from my pledge to protect and support you through trials, tribulation, and trysts, and because I always retain original affections, I still feel as if I have disappointed and betrayed us both.
I hope you mend well and soon, and that your prospective accommodations are both suitable and harmonious.
Love always, Lethargy Lad
post script:  Because of my peculiar cognitive attributes, I’ve tended to give off mixed signals, so many have allowed their erroneous expectations to disappoint them.  I commiserate.  Rational expectations are based on evidence, and because I often SOUND smart, many people assume that I AM smart.  Sorry, but I’m just a clever idiot savant, whose childhood led him to believe that every conflict MUST lead to violence.  So, by avoiding violence, I avoided confrontation, which ultimately denied me intimacy.
You learned better.  Diva Dearest learned better.  Missus Axis learned better.  “Who’s next?” I wonder.

8 July 2022 — found this, seems apt:  “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

3 September 2022  —  Dear Early Riser,
Please accept my congratulations on the successful completion of jour Three Score and Ten, and upon the commencement of jour Eighth Decade!  I wish I could be presenting you with a German Chocolate Cake and otherwise helping you to celebrate so auspicious an event!  I am almost breathless at the rush of time.  As I write this, I am now, to the nearest month, 6 decades, 6 years, and 6 months old, and I reflect that it is a mere thirty-six years and eight months since my misbegotten and ill-conceived effort to commemorate your thirty-three and a third.  Duegpd gayen jakket jolof pfogs hlah wed tju, foxio gawenk edji oimhoot yobur wed, ftjup ikol jix ffikus gaen omtugv yxed rjewm qik, gocow fuk.
Happy Birthday and Fondest Wishes for Joyous Memories!

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A Secure Frontier

7 June 2002
campaign rhetoric… I exhort the crowd.

Responsible people will prepare themselves for dangers and accidents. Some carry guns, others study jiu jitsu, many pack first aid kits and jugs of water in their cars. Communities organize locally to protect themselves from predators and rough weather — murderers, rapists, blizzards, and floods. Likewise, on a Federal level, we establish a standing military to protect America from Nazis, Imperialists, and other aggressors. The world is ever perilous, and we must never neglect the unknown. Too many of the dangers we have faced as a nation have come upon us by surprise — whether the malign efforts of villains, or indifferent acts of nature. Though we can’t know for certain where they will next appear, whether from a Peoples’ Republic of Atlantis, or a rogue asteroid on a collision course with the Earth, we must prepare for all possible threats.

The Libertarian foreign policy is simplicity itself: “Do what you will with your own and be at peace with the United States. Trifle with us at your peril.” This is a policy of strict self-defense and non-interference. It is not isolationism, and it does not mean that we individual American citizens may not express our moral outrage at the atrocities committed by religious, racist, and misogynist zealots worldwide. It does not mean that individual Americans would be barred from supporting the partisans of their choosing, or even taking up arms on their behalf. It means that the American Government will spend American Dollars and spill American Blood only when it is our vital national interest. Otherwise, we should pursue a policy of peaceful trade with all nations, entangling alliances with none.

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, for example, may well have served a legitimate purpose in containing the very real threat of Soviet hegemony, but in 1990, when the constituent republics of the former USSR renounced its aims of global consolidation and dissolved the beast, NATO lost all reason for being. However, like all government bureaucracies, it took on a life of its own and commenced seeking new missions. The NATO sponsored and United Nations endorsed assault on Serbia may very well portend a new internationalist order of conquest and domination to dwarf the aims of the Soviet Union. A free people and a peaceful republic have no place in nor any use for any such interventionist order.

Consistent with national defense, the Federal Government has a responsibility to explore and to secure the frontier. President Jefferson did right by sending Lewis and Clark to Oregon, and President Kennedy did right by sending Apollo to the Moon. We don’t know what dangers lurk in the heavens — solar storms to disrupt our weather, stray comets to vaporize our oceans, or massive meteor strikes to rain ruin onto our cities. We can’t know if we don’t look, and to dismiss the possibility and refuse to prepare for danger is suicidal recklessness. Wishes won’t make us safe, and hope is no refuge from the storm.

Human intelligence and our sense of wonder are gifts too rare and magnificent for us to follow the dinosaurs into oblivion.

But of course, the frontier isn’t all danger — neither Oregon nor Hawaii have ever threatened America, but both have enriched the Union. Likewise, there is enormous wealth in the New Frontier. The New Millennium Dawns with the promise of Life, Liberty, Prosperity, and Peace. A full belly for every hungry child. A good job for every able body. An ennobling challenge for every nimble mind. The Earth can be more fruitful, the seas richer, the air cleaner and sweeter. The future of industry is in the sky, where limitless energy awaits in the form of unfiltered sunshine, and limitless resources revolve serenely around the Sun in wide elliptical orbits between Jupiter and Mars. Let the Earth bloom as a garden, as a park, as a pasture, and as our own inviting back yard. There are fabulous riches and adventures in the outer realm, and they wait there for the people with the courage and the vision to reach out and seize them.

Toward that end, I propose that America re-establish a permanent orbital presence — a presence unstained by internationalist sentiments, unrestricted by internationalist intervention, and unimpeded by internationalist involvement.

Furthermore, I propose the establishment of a permanent settlement on the Moon, a manned mission to Mars, and that we send unmanned vessels to begin investigating the Asteroids. Do I overreach? Perhaps, but I believe that a vigorous society must overreach. To do less is to betray our posterity, and to condemn our heirs to lives of tyranny and poverty.

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Big Newton’s

29 January 2018

Isaac Newton said he saw so far because he stood on the shoulders of giants. Okeh, I guess he can have his humble brag, and his salute to his predecessors, but he did at least have the fortitude to actually STAND on those shoulders. Most of the rest of us are comfortable today riding in the pockets of giants.

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Without him there’d be anarchy!

Most Americans admire (“Honest”) Abe Lincoln; we love a winner! But take pause, history books are written and printed in winning regimes.

I firmly expect that if Adolf Hitler had won his particular war he would be revered today as the Father of a United Europe and the Savior of the Reich. Any talk of his closing newspapers, arresting judges, locking up protesters, closing legislatures, or shooting draft resisters would be dismissed as the tiresome rhetoric of “revisionist historians.”

To those who say that John Wilkes Boothe was too late to save America, I say that Hitler was too late to save Canaan.
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