Snivels and rants! Snivels and rants! Snivels and rants and rants and rants.
23 August 2022
Bob (“The MurphDawg“) Murphy is like the zestiest of spices. I don’t want a pure diet of him, but when he’s not there I miss him. Why can’t “Contra Krugman” (and the Contra Cruise) be revived with a rotating roster of analysts, featuring occasionally, among others, Bob & Tom (“The Old Man“) Woods themselves?
(and because I’m vain, and prideful and lustful &c… I’d like credit for suggesting it)
19 August 2022
Give the Yang Gang credit for their latest shot at relevance.
The present political landscape, dominated as it is by Repucrats and Demoblicans, is pretty flat and two-dimensional. Still with only two dimensions, we have identified a number of directions. Broadly speaking, Dems go left, Reps go right, Reds and Greens go down, and Libertutionists and Constitarians rise above.
But now we have Andrew Yang showing us the way Forward.
Smells to me like that Progressive scam that’s been skewering us for the last century or so.
(credit where it’s due: Responding to Yang’s consistent citation of “common sense consensus,” Jolly Jimmy Acosta describes the group as a “fill in the blank party.”)
15 August 2022
I swiped the above graphic from correspondent BA, who lifted it from Balance of Power, and I think it’s cute, and even apt in light of the current battle in The War on Orange Hitler. Still, I am put off by its singular focus. The crimes of the ruling class are vast and various, and El Donaldo’s constitute kerfuffles in comparison. Still, dead Yemeni children is sobering… Correspondent HJ goes so far as to recommend dusting off Ol’ Sparky as a solution to our “Trump problem.”
As I am opposed to the State administering a death penalty, in my ideal scenario, after their war crimes trials, Tjump, and Obama, and Dubya, and Bubba will all be cellies assigned to cleaning the restrooms in VA hospitals. (Of course, if they tried to escape, they should be shot down like the mad dogs they are.) Poppy is excused on account o’ bein’ dead, and Jimmeh should be sentenced to time served with his Habitat for Humanity gig.
29 July 2022 — (meter stolen from Boudleaux & Felice Bryant)
I got schtupped real hard in Central Park.
The rave spilled out from the Ritz.
My boyfriend said, “You’re the best I’ve ever had.
Pay no attention to the zits.”
Pustulence! And weeping sores!
Now emerge on me!
Full blown Monkey Pox,
Get a fresh case from me!
Home grown Monkey Pox,
It can be yours for free!
17 May 2023 — (meter stolen from Sammy Cahn & Jimmy van Heusen)
Pits and asshole, pits and asshole,
Scrub ’em good so they won’t be a hassle,
To our tender senses!
Your poor hygiene can be offensive!
Try, try, try to do a good job,
It’s, so amazing.
You’ll find nothing’s so relaxing…
As, just bathing.
Oils and ointments, rubbing lotion,
Escape your troubles when you take the notion,
Of a brief vacation.
A soothing soak is medication!
27 July 2022
correspondent Tyguop-Ojgezfe Wumim wonders what happens after we End the Fed. It seems like we’re dependent on their system. I wonder how long it would take, and if anyone is prepared for the chaos the transition will create.
There are a multitude of transactional options available with a robust de-regulated securities market and instantaneous communication. You may well be faced with the agonizing choices of GoldPass, The Confederate Mint, or DigitalExpress all vying for your trade, be they Silver Dollars, grams of gold, or the latest electric tulip bulbs. Greedy merchants and savvy consumers always find “… uh… a way.”
Wumim opines further: I’ve heard people talking about global resets and money magically appearing…I think it will be precious metals, clean water, and land.
I’m not so sure about magical reappearances, but I do know that there are already lots of gold and silver coins out there, and people will adjust to them as quickly as needed to get dinner on the table. Of course, all transitions are awkward and clumsy and uncomfortable, but practice makes improvement. Money is anything that holds value (beaver pelts, grams of gold, silver quarters, clean water, high test hootch, canned goods, ammunition…) and currency is anything that circulates in place of money. For millennia, after every fiat fiasco, we have always returned to gold and silver coin.
15 October 2022
In order for a State to “end inflation” it must nullify the unconstitutional legal tender laws, repudiate the F’eral Reserve, and reinstitute lawful money in the form of gold and silver coin. The US Constitution does not prohibit any of those acts, any more than it prohibits secession. But FedGov is still more heavily armed.
These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead). For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or
Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars”
in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates,
c/o Gene Greigh // 401 Rio Concho Drive, #105; San Angelo, Texas; 76903
26 July 2022
not a true story:
I tried using L’Hospital’s Rule once, but all the inches were marked “0/0”
a true story: Walking home from work in Corn Valley one day (ca 1984) I spied a large, spray-painted graffito proclaiming that “Metal Rules!” Lacking my own spray-can, I was unable to satisfy my urge to write “Gum Erasers!” and “Plastic Protractors!” next to it.
20 October 2022 (Happy Birthday Sugar!)
Most of us are pack animals. We are hardwired to help each other. That’s why it feels good to do good. Whereas, REQUIRING us to “help” or to “contribute” triggers our contrarian reflexes, and we look upon such external “obligations” as theft, aggression, or interference. This is why tax-funded “welfare” is universally disastrous.
correspondent Mypogdyf Mymink responds: “Individuals do not have the means to amass and distribute anything to anyone other than in their immediate circle. We will always need a government safety-net to make sure that the elderly and children do not starve. It’s not for lack of wanting to help, people simply do not have the machinery necessary. Without a uniform plan paid for by our taxes, people will begin dying faster than they already are from all the other causes. I am not some starry eyed optimist. I am a realist.“
The machinery already exists in the form of communication and community and churches. Uniform plans are not suitable for unique circumstances, and taxation, supported by threats of violence, engenders more resentment than compassion, and also fuels widescale graft not feasible on smaller human scales. I am not some starry-eyed optimist, I am a starry-eyed cynic.
9 July 2022
(meter stolen from Richard Rodgers)
Blue Moon, I was a violent thug.
You left me writhing in pain,
and bleeding out on your rug.
My girlfriend wanted some Snack-Ums,
But her SNAP card had lost its charge.
The clerk said he could not help her,
So I thought I’d show him my dick was large!
update 220719: Murder charges against retail clerk Jose Alba, reports Assistant District Attorney Jennifer Sigall, have been dropped. As a fellow drug dealer, I sympathize with Alba’s position, having dealt with some disgruntled clientele myself, but am thankful never to have encountered anyone quite so angry and out of control as the late and little lamented Austin Simon or his entourage.
3 June 2022
As a semi-accomplished auto-didact, I didn’t need PE to teach me “how to lose.” I’ve been losing all my life, even before the orchestrated torture of “Phys Ed” so it has been relatively easy to reconcile myself to the inevitable losses that any move entails. I may well file a futile claim once I get an actual intra-web connection. Meanwhile, because of my cybernetic (and other) deficiencies I am unable to save these files until I am reconnected to “the cloud.” The new “improved” computer doesn’t seem to carry a great deal of its own memory, so I’ve become externally dependent on the IT weasels who still yearn for revenge for their mistreatment in Senior Juniorhigh.
I was naive enough to believe that I could waltz into town, drop a wad of cash, move into a small street level house or apartment, and proceed therefrom to secure employment and to apply for (actual) reparations (aka “Social Security.”) Because EVERY rental agency demanded documentation verifying THREE TIMES the proposed rent as income, every move had to be performed backwardly and inside-outly. Presently, I am kneeling before my formerly efficient (but now crippled) word processor as I compose this form-letter and fear power outages deleting these words before I can print them several times.
11 June 2022
in re Job Number @#######, and Lot No. ######:
While I realize that I have surrendered any claim against your additional service, having taken receipt of my goods on the 14th of May, and being too tired and fatigued at the time to fully inspect delivery, I nevertheless entreat your assistance in my pursuit of one item. Subsequent inspections revealed a few losses, most of which are of too little value to warrant additional efforts, but one has great personal significance and I retain high hopes, though modest expectations, of its eventual return.
Because a few items arrived lacking the characteristic Orange Tags (Lot No. ######) my missing item MAY be tagged with any with any of the following Item Nos: 26, 38, 124, 137, or 143. Or it may not be tagged at all. At any rate, this cardboard box (a recycled Hershey’s container) of dimensions 7.5*8.5*11 inches WILL be tagged with my own reference number, DQN 032. I will cheerfully guarantee parcel postage for its return.
Furthermore, I also received, among a variety of other broken bits, a part of someone else’s delivery of Lot No. ######, Piece No. ### (blue tag) containing photographs of strangers, to me, but perhaps cherished loved ones to others. Please feel free to provide that aggrieved party (“Name?”) with y contact information.
13 July 2022
Have you seen these lost loved ones?
in hard money:
A set of Canadian Maple Cents, representing about Fifty Cents Canadian, and constituting Endless Hours of Curation.
in hard covers:
Tanglewood Tales (published in 1934), by Nathaniel Hawthorne, with illustrations by Maxfield Parrish.
Scavengers in Space (pub. 1958), by Alan E. Nourse
Brave New World (pub. 1980), by Aldous Huxley
in hard or soft covers, all by Robert A. Heinlein, various publication dates:
Assignment in Eternity, Beyond this Horizon, The Day After Tomorrow, Farmer in the Sky, Have Space Suit Will Travel, The Number of the Beast, To Sail Beyond the Sunset, The Cat Who Walked Through Walls, The Star Beast, Starman Jones, Tunnel in the Sky, & I Will Fear No Evil
on newsprint and between flimsy paper covers:
most Silver Age X-Men issue numbers from 9 to 66, plus a few reprints from 67 to 92
Amazing Adventures 1 to 14, (reprinting X-Men 1 to 8), Amazing Spider-man 92, plus various late Silver and early Bronze X-Appearances in other Marvel mags.
on CD: The Beatles’ Anthology three release packages totaling six discs.
fortunately, I have a copy of my one disc edit of the most significant selections, but still… It’s the Beatles! (*sob*)
15 May 2023 — Just deleted from the comix file.
The GRAPHiC WORK of M.C. Escher (Ballantine 1971) — tpb
*sigh* So the aforementioned “book” might also be this one. And this one may in fact be on its way to Earlie Riser, whose given name and own hand appear in said volume. That would be fitting, I suppose. In fact, that’s yet another way of finding a pony in this room!
Good show! (If fact.)
& while I’m here today, I just wanted to add that I’m loving Mark Waid’s take on the current World’s Finest, and even more so Dan Abnett’s retcon on early Mar-Vell (and Groot)! Folks are missing out by not heeding my counsel!
18 June 2023 — yet another…
Bite Me, by Christopher Moore. I know I’ve never owned a copy of Lamb (Moore’s great gospel of Levi called Biff), but I do recall getting a copy of Bite Me from correspondent BA. It seems until I actually look for them, books don’t appear missing. But Moore’s been in my head lately, and it just occurred to me…
8 July 2023 — Her second husband only had to lose Diva Dearest once. One day, sooner or not, Sugar or Bud will lose one or the other of them. But just once. I’ve already lost them both, and I will lose them again, whether they like me or not.
24 June 2022
Nowhere in the Constitution is the federal government authorized to regulate abortion (or other homicides), or larceny, or education, nor are such legislative prerogatives denied to the States.
By pitting the rights of mothers and their pre-born children to be secure in their persons, the Fourth Amendment cancels itself out on this question. Depriving a mother of her liberty without due process versus depriving the pre-born of life without due process defuses the Fifth Amendment defense. And the Ninth‘s protection of unspecified rights is too weak when attempting to counter the actual deprivation of life that every abortion necessarily entails.
addendum 220709 — upon reflection, it occurs to me that the Fifth also supports Dobbs, if life trumps liberty.
addendum 220904 — whereas the Third supports Roe, though tenuously, in its (admittedly more specific) prohibition of involuntary quartering and sheltering. I think many Rothbardians embrace this in spirit through their “Trespass Doctrine.” (I am rather less genteel than they and suggest instead that the rights of the host supersede the interests of the parasite.)
*objectively accurate motto of
The International Confederation of Shabas Goys
12 April 2022
Gilbert Gottfried, “the comedians’ comedian,” comic genius, and one-time wise-cracking Aflac flack was lost to us today. I’d like to think that he might have appreciated my original joke (above), as he was fearless, and he was committed to humor. He wouldn’t care much if people thought that he or I were anti-Semites (we’re not) and he would never demur from what he thought was the joke of the moment. “Hero” is thrown around way too loosely these days, but Gottfried WAS heroic. Real heroism requires personal risk, and he was never loath to put his smart mouth where the big money was. It cost him dearly in shekels, but it earned him the respect of his peers and his fans.
I will miss his wit AND his courage. It is in shorter supply today.