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Accounting Irregularities

14 March 2002

Our President and Congress make a big noise about corporations going belly-up and the “scandal” of insider trading, so they propose “tough new regulations” to restore investor confidence in the stock market. I’m a little confused. Aren’t crimes like fraud, theft, extortion, and perjury already illegal? We don’t need new laws to “restore confidence.” Artificial reporting requirements are part of the reason that many businesses are having a rough time of it already.

Now, I do not intend to diminish the very real trauma for shareholders, pensioners, and employees who are getting hurt in the fallout from the failures of Enron® and WorldCom®, but the sad fact is that some enterprises don’t cut it, and some people don’t do well in the market. It’s tragic, but the only alternatives to the free market are Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, Communist China, or Soviet Russia. So when Republicans® and Democrats® vow to fix the system, to protect the consumer, to cushion the investor, and to save capitalism from itself, I have to say, “Hold on to your wallets, folks, you’re about to get gored.”

The fact is, bankruptcy isn’t all bad news. It isn’t fun, but sometimes it’s the best thing in the long run. When a company goes under, its material assets don’t evaporate, and the talents and experiences of its many employees don’t disappear. The market will reallocate them to other tasks. It is far better for the economy for a failure like Enron to fade into history, than for “successes” like Amtrak and the US Post Office to continue sucking up taxpayer subsidies and posting record losses quarter after quarter. When a capitalist makes a bad decision, the market mercilessly shuts him down. When a government agency makes a bad decision and loses record amounts of money inflicting record amounts of damage, the Congress increases its budget.

If private citizens ran an operation like the Social Security Pyramid Swindle, they’d be in prison. It’s long past time to retire that fraud. Liability to three generations of Social Security and Medicare victims can arguably be considered to be a part of the Federal Debt, and settlements based on divestiture of Federal Assets may provide us with the leverage we need to retire these schemes.

I want every victim of the Social Security Scam to get back every dime that was taken plus interest. How much interest is hard to say, but we can have that argument later. Victims who trusted the system and are now wholly dependent on it should get the help they need. The help they NEED. Yes, I propose means testing. The Congress must change the statute so that those retirees who are able to care for themselves will not get any more than a just return on what was taken.

Most important of all, however, is to let every working American stay out of it altogether. Let them save the money if they wish, or put it into their coin collections, or bury it in the back yard. Better still, let them invest it in their own retirement, and let them earn a market return, rather than the anemic performance of the Social Security “Trust Fund.”

Savvy politicos have named Social Security the “Third Rail of American Politics.” It is a reference to electric subway trains that draw their power from the charged third rail. You touch it and you die. It’s a very colorful expression, and it may well have some merit as a warning to those who would court the free lunch vote, but a candidate who refuses to acknowledge the inevitable collapse of the system doesn’t deserve your respect or your vote. We have nothing to lose by retiring Social Security except constantly rising taxes and constantly diminished prospects for a survivable retirement.

Pessimists will have you believe there is no hope, ever, of changing the system, and since they haven’t the means to make a difference, they have relieved themselves of the responsibility to make the effort. I’m not surrendering to their future, and I hope you won’t either. We can make a difference, every day, with every vote, with every purchase, with every word and gesture and action. We are making the future every day. It’s up to each of us.

update 180311: Very little has changed on this front except the public notoriety of Martha Stewart’s time in stir, providing critics of the Iraqi invasion the handy slogan, “Martha lied, but no one died.” It is sad, stupid, and ridiculous all at once. Ms Stewart wasn’t even convicted of the outrageously contrived non-crime of “insider trading” but of simply stymieing the FBI’s pointless investigation.
update 210325: Considering the evil that the FBI commits, Martha deserves a full pardon. Maybe even a medal. Lying to the fuzz wastes their time and obstructs their investigations. I wouldn’t recommend it, because they are heavily armed, highly vengeful, and demonstrably homicidal. But I still salute courage.

These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or 
Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars”
in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates,
c/o Gene Greigh // 401 Rio Concho Drive, #105;  San Angelo, Texas;  76903

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trash it?

4 March 2023 — All that and dead cat stew?

Would that she’d remained at one of “our” rural homes. I may have had help burying her. Or maybe she’d still live, frolicking in the woods, feasting on fresh rodent, and shitting on the ground. Instead, I confined her to a tenth story sterile indoor environment akin to what the State of Oregon did to my mother: murder by house arrest. The funny thing about laughter, knowledge, and guilt is that they can all be shared without being diminished. At their trials, I see many standing to answer for Rosalie. I will answer for Tichelle.

The letter arrived, but I couldn’t get past the first few lines. Not that it was poorly written or anything like that. It was neatly typed, but the tone turned so quickly that my head locked up and I couldn’t bring myself to proceed. I neatly folded it and tucked it away to cool. I know I must address it, but my mind’s pretty crowded right now.

10 March 2023 — Meanwhile, my surgeon beat me up just fine on Monday (to repair my inguinal hernia), so now I am in even greater discomfort than previously, but the trend of recovery over the last few days is encouraging. Strength and appetite seem to be returning, albeit frustratingly slow. Part of my impatience is no doubt due to the long weeks of bureaucratic delay that characterizes the VA and its ilk. But I guess that’s part of the price I’m paying.

11 March 2023 –– The longer, and closer, and deeper the alliance, the longer, and more painful, and deeper the pain of separation. So, ending twenty years of alleged comity calls for a little more mourning, I guess, than ending thirteen years of battle (twice). But, as when a beloved pet (or parent) dies, we are reminded that, “Only love hurts this much.”
When it becomes clear that a consistently pursued endeavor will not yield the fruit desired, but in fact continues to foul the field, it may be best to reassess, let things stand as they are, and distract myself from it as best I can. But let them stand, always let them stand. Any less is a lie.

8 December 2023 — Note from a “loathsome, offensive brute”:
I may be locked out of SOME rooms,
but I haven’t forgotten the ponies in them.
(aka: ikyra)
It seems that I can never escape The Kramer, even if I wanted to. One of my neighbors here in Geezer Tower (Maybe some less offensive name? I might be “looking down” on someone again.) has put up a framed portrait of The Kramer on the tenth floor. Even though “he is a loathsome offensive brute,” and “I can’t look away,” (precise quotes might also be a problem) I nevertheless find the addition to be a familiar comfort (which can no longer be denied me simply because I believe that I have an immune system and that I am not a surgeon. Not quite “two in a canoe” but that opportunity has passed anyway… )

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With or Without a Bookie

6 March 1998 — approximated & paraphrased

Patient with a brokered account: “Time to settle up.”
Receptionist: “Well, looks like we’ll send a bill to your insurance company for a hundred and twenty dollars, but we’ll need your co-pay of twenty dollars, please. You can mail it in, if you like.”
P w/ aba: “Thanks! Have a great day!”
Receptionist: “Thank you, hon!  Next please.”

Patient without a brokered account: “Time to settle up.”
Receptionist: “Uh… you don’t have any insurance.”
P w/o aba: “That’s correct.”
Receptionist: “That’ll be three hundred dollars. Right fucking now!”

update 210108: Mrs Axis once explained this to me. Insurance companies deal in large numbers, and can therefore negotiate lower rates because they represent a bloc of reliable payers, whereas I am an unknown quantity, and they’re not sure they can get even a fraction out of me. But they didn’t know me, did they? So they couldn’t know in advance that for EVERY time I ever walked myself into a doctor’s or dentist’s or other skilled contractor’s office, and incurred a debt, they ALWAYS got EVERY DiME! Which makes me considerably more reliable than every bookie who ever went belly up and left thousands bereft.

The images above are reproduced for purposes of analysis and scholarship.  Their use here constitutes free advertisement for their creators at the considerable expense of Piracy Press & Greigh Area Associates. Stories are selected with the greatest of discrimination, but even numbered issues of Daring Love are specifically edited with the prurient interests of atavistic fanboys in mind.  
Reader discretion is advised.

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Wishful Thinking

15 March 2021

Says Syed Balkhi:
“Hey, I noticed you created a contact form with WPForms – that’s awesome! Could you please do me a BIG favor and give it a 5-star rating on WordPress to help us spread the word and boost our motivation?”

That is one interesting observation.
I recall trying to figure how to decipher the “instructions” for setting up “forms” in the “backend” of my “D-panel” but I have no recollection whatsoever of actually accomplishing anything. In fact it was not “awesome” at all. It was painful and frustrating and fruitless. I expect that my experience with this cybernetic horror show is hardly the testimony that a vendor is going to want to clarion to the world. Fortunately for professional cyber-geeks, most consumers aren’t nearly as stupid or retarded as I am.

Alex (Swamp Thing) Olsen, Linda Olsen, Shvaugn Erin, 
& Jan (Element Lad) Arrah, are all properties of 
Detective Comics and Warner Communications.  Their images are reproduced by Piracy Press for purposes of analysis and scholarship.
Stories are selected with the greatest of discrimination, but even numbered issues of Daring Love are specifically edited with the prurient interests of atavistic fanboys in mind.  Reader discretion is advised.

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Not the “Mask Police”

12 August 2020

Dear Correspondent JS:
Thanks so much for your kind words.  The “QuikkStopp™” where I work is located at Exit Sissin Nyn on Interstate Sekki Sen in northeast Cincinnatistan.  In fact it is a gasoline station and convenience shop, sharing space with Drunk’n Dimwits™ and Chik’n’n’Biskits™.  I would very much appreciate your NOT making any specific issue out of my own masklessness as you laud me, or management policy, to management itself (we are a large district chain.) 

The two relevant management policies throughout the QuikkStopp™ empire are as follows:
We are NOT the “Mask Police.”  Employees have no authority to enforce, and are discouraged from even mentioning, Malefic Mike’s statewide masking diktat. We welcome every naked face that enters the store.
Employees are to be masked while on duty.  I have advised my shop manager that I would not be complying with this and attempted to apologize in advance if firing me constituted any hassle for him (It would, I am an extremely valuable employee), but he cut me off, pointed to my bandana and said, “That’s fine.  Just don’t say anything else I don’t need to hear.”  He’s obviously hoping I get away with it too. 

So yeah!  Please do stop in if you’re close!  And then call the big guns and tell them how much you appreciate our not giving customers flak about their missing muzzles. 

Work hard, rest easy, laugh often, and love endlessly. And breathe free!

Yr Obt Svt,
Gene Greigh

update 210315: Sorry if I’ve left anyone hanging, or otherwise left questions unresolved. Upper (or middle) management finally did reach the limits of their patience with me, just a couple of weeks after I had composed the above. Now, whether they opined that my unteamly behavior was an egregious social problem, or whether my specific misbehavior might be seen as compromising their financial well-being, is entirely irrelevant. It was entirely their call (as it is their shop), and I have no ill feeling towards accountants being attentive to the bottom line, nor to shop managers following through on their pledges to middle (or upper) management.

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“Over control meant loss of control”

29 July 2003

To the editors (West Hawaii Today): What a comfort it is that the terrorist-enablers in our federal government have forgiven themselves for their evisceration of the Bill of Rights (“Lapses found, but no way to prevent Sept. 11” page 7A, July 25)

Over the last several decades the proponents of victim disarmament have made it possible for a handful of thugs to commandeer jet-liners and crash them at will.

If the Second Amendment were still in force in America, and all responsible adults were free to travel as armed as they saw fit, there is no way that punks with knives would have attempted the atrocities of September 11th.

“[N]o way to prevent Sept. 11?” Hardly. As long as we practice the cruel superstition of gun control, there is no way to avoid it.

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“Gaybama” is not a slur

15 January, 2020

At least I didn’t think so.  I didn’t intend it to be. 

I was looking for a transcendental phenomenological description of contemporaneous political appeal.  Just as “Quisling” now includes non-Swedish traitors, and “Fredo” refers to more than just Italian supernumeraries, I thought that “Gaybama” was just as portable. 
What do I know? 

Imagine a candidate who not only satisfies your orthodox Democrat criteria, but is also an “X.”  You may not be an “X” yourself, but you’re also no bigot.  “X”-ness won’t stop your vote.  In fact, it’s an additional appeal – you could be a part of the historic movement that put the first “X” into the Whitehouse.  How cool is that?

Now, for “X” substitute the words “Person of Gender™” or “Cool Black Guy™.”  By 2008 I realized that, after generations of dragging their stupid bigotry in the mud, most of America had finally caught up to me and decided that neither a vagina nor a permanent tan should be considered automatic DISqualifications for the Presidency.  Unfortunately (for me and humanity) that particular “PoG” and that particular “CBG” were orthodox Democrats, and therefore unworthy of my vote.  Nevertheless, Cool Black Guy won his race —  a signal cultural triumph AND a painful political disaster.  In so doing, like Fredo Corleone and Vidkun Quisling, he has stamped his name onto a broader generic concept.

I still don’t care how Squeaky Pete™ (“Gaybama”) might swing his wing wang, but I’m confident that thousands of Americans do.  I expect that their concerns will move a great many more of them to vote FER’im than AGIN’im, just as the original “Obama’s” electoral “defect” worked more in his favor than not.

Many of the chattering chooms on teevee have referred to Squeaky Pete as “the next ‘Obama’,” yet delicately decline to explicate his appealing cache.  I thought that “Gaybama” nailed it, without rancor or revile.  It is a convenient political portmanteau that betrays neither judgment nor condemnation.

Or it is homophobic and racist.

predate 200110 (Clowns in Conflict):  “Alfred E. Neuman will never be President of the United States,” says President Ronald McDonald.

update 210307: Despite his political shortcomings (according to Cool Black Guy™ himself: “He’s thirty-eight, but he looks thirty… He’s gay. And he’s short.“) Former Vice President Biden and President Select Harris have appointed him to their cabinet, so these so called shortcomings are more likely political assets at this point.

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100% of the Tenth

18 August 2020  
Pravda Sivoydne®’s (USA ToadyÂŽ) readers opine on “states’ rights.”  In a recent poll, Toady’s editors find that approximately 56% of Americans agree with 100% of the Tenth Amendment insofar as they believe that “marijuana regulation should be handled by state governments” rather than through federal usurpation. I’m confident that editors and publishers have an abiding interest in readers’ opinions, in as much as they reflect on their bottom line, but in matters of logical discourse, agreement is meaningless.  100% of flat earthers may refuse to believe in gravity, but a fall from a great height will kill them anyway.

8 December 2019 — Today’s Leftists celebrate the diversities that don’t matter, and stifle the diversities that do.

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Dear Singin’ Truckdriver

27 February 2018

I miss you just about every day.

I can see you’re doing well in those other universes where they had things figured out sooner than here in ours.  And I can easily see what a joyous and brilliant life you could have led in our world.

I mourn for a humanity who are denied your wit and your charm and your enthusiasm and your talents.  It hurts a lot less these days, and it’s been manageable for decades, but there are times when you reemerge and elicit a chuckle or a tear.  To this day I still steal your jokes, and there still isn’t a damned thing you can do about it!

In many of the best ways, you remind me of our grandmother Bernice, with your shared abilities to see through blizzards of crap and get at the priceless kernel of truth concealed within.  Neither one of you could tolerate the notion of shit on the mind and sugar on the tongue; you said what you thought and you didn’t apologize for it.

You’re a great guy, Bro!  I love you, and I never told you enough.  I guess we never really can say it enough to anyone.

Fondly and gratefully yours,
Older, taller, and better looking

update 210228:  Singin’ Truck Driver would be 62 today had he not been done in by primitive twentieth century medicine.  It is reported that the paean above elicited tears from both my sister and my Mom, as well as explicit thanks from our oldest brother, who may not volunteer the datum, but likely would not deny an emotional response himself.

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Hawaiian Sovereignty

13 April 2002

In the interests of full disclosure, I must state up front that I am not a secessionist. Now, I don’t have any moral or constitutional quarrel with the concept of Hawaiian secession. I just think it’s a bad idea. I think it’s a bad idea to separate ourselves from, relatively speaking, the largest free market in the world, and it would likewise be imprudent to remove ourselves from the protection of the greatest military power in history. I am disinclined also to trust the protection of our Civil Rights to The Peoples’ Republic, or to The Kingdom, or to The Consolidated Islands of Hawaii. I am dubious of Federal protection also, but at least with the State and the Feds at odds over the issue, we have some cover from both.

That being clear, let me state just as emphatically, that Hawaiian Sovereignty is already a FACT. You can look it up, if you want, or I can quote it myself. According to the Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the People.” This means that except for the very specific duties detailed for the Federal Government (mainly Hard Money and a Secure Frontier), all other legitimate authority in the United States resides in the States themselves.

Each State is a Sovereign entity unto itself, each is responsible for its own internal affairs, and each is answerable to no other. We are a Confederation of Equals, a Common Market, a Republic of Republics, and a voluntary union of friends. It also means that, since the body of the Constitution does not specifically prohibit secession, then that option is also reserved to the States.

Nevertheless, the aim of many modern sovereigntists, who would remove these islands from the American Union, is misdirected. If we wish to reclaim local control over ceded lands, reduce Federal authority, and put an end to the Federal Government’s vicious drug war in our skies, we must elect Representatives to the Congress who understand that the United States Constitution defines a Federal Union of specific and limited delegated powers.

With a Congress composed of Libertarians and others who understand the true Confederal structure of our Union, many of the illegal actions of the Federal government will stop, and any argument in favor of secession would be moot. When the Right of Secession is preserved, secession itself becomes unnecessary.

update 180130: In light of da kine recent missile scare, Hawaiians may well reconsider the value of “the protection of the greatest military power in history.” Considering its misadventurous interventionist foreign policies, does The Occupation draw more fire than it provides cover? New Yorkers and Pentagon employees might also wish to weigh in on questions of blowback. Of course, I also have serious doubts about my safety OUTSIDE of the US, as well. It’s a thorny puzzle.