Corvallis Gazette-Times, 1981

“Irony” (Thursday, 18 June 1981)

Oh the delicious irony, to see the stories, “Officials ponder packed prison problem” and “Marijuana bust nets 4” on the same page of your June 16 edition. It is either a too appropriate accident, or someone on your staff shares my sense of the absurd.

While I don’t know exactly how many inmates in our state penal facilities are victims of Oregon’s victimless-crime laws, it does seem to me that releasing them would go a long way toward relieving our current calaboose congestion.

“Impractical” (Saturday, 8 August 1981)

Correspondent MB’s suggestion of August 1st that [as a dissuasive measure] all of us who support the freedom of abortion personally participate is impractical logistically, professionally, and ideologically.

The logistical considerations are perhaps the most compelling. As all of us who advocate the execution of capital offenders could not feasibly take part in that act, all pro-choice proponents could not practically participate in preempting pregnancies; there are just too many of us per clinic. Assuming, of course, that we would be permitted to assist. Very few of us are qualified to practice medicine.

Even so, it would be inequitable. I, for one, would resent it, because I, like many who are pro-choice , am also anti-abortion. Being pro-choice, I choose not to participate, I choose not to support, and I choose not to interfere with those who choose otherwise.

(A fairly good Darwinian argument, with which I imagine MB would take issue, can be made to support the pro-choice position: those who abort not only proliferate less than those who do not, but also expose themselves to the statistical mortality that all surgery entails. Ultimately, natural selection will put the abortionist out of business.)

update 180101: Describing myself for decades as both pro-choice and pro-life has been occasionally thorny, as zealots on either side of the issue will assail us for our lack of commitment or conviction.

My commitment is to life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.

My convictions are these. The rights of the host supercede the interests of the parasite. An organism that feeds off of another acts as a parasite. An “acting parasite” that confers some sort of benefit to the host (joy, hope, photosynthesis?) is considered to be in a symbiotic relationship. In the matter of pregnancy, only the host is qualified to distinguish between parasite and symbiote. (On a personal note, I remain grateful to both Busy Body and Drama Queen that they considered my own beloved spawn to be symbiotes rather than parasites.)

Here are some more facts. There is no such thing as a risk free medical procedure, and there is no such thing as a risk free physical condition. History teaches us that pregnancy kills women and abortion kills women. To the extent that most pregnant women are most of the time in their “right minds” they are the only parties qualified to select from risky options.

“Thrilled” (Thursday, 10 September 1981)

Concerning the dilemma of Duke University:

I should think the administration, faculty, collective alumni and student body would be thrilled at the prospect of a presidential library on their campus. Richard Nixon is, after all, a national hero; he’s done more than any other figure in recent history to revive that great American tradition of distrusting government.

update 180102: Not having mentioned his having ended the draft, Tricky continues to figure large in my life. Compliments of Drama Queen, a favorite cat, Milli Kalikimaka, ended up with his middle name.

“Devalued” (Tuesday, 20 October 1981)

Well, there goes another fantasy [shot to hell]. I had thought that I would write to the Treasury Department (or the Director of the Mint, or whomever is in charge of such things) and suggest that, to commemorate the centennial of the Statue of Liberty, the image of Ms Liberty be struck upon the bronze cent, beginning in 1984, the actual date of her centenary. Now, however, the big news (numismatically speaking) is that our copper penny is soon to be devalued (the same dirty trick they pulled with our dimes, quarters, and half dollars in 1965). It would be a miserable mockery now, to imprint the image of that great bronze monument on a copper-plated coin.

On the other hand, it just might be sadly appropriate. In 1884, when the people of France presented the Statue of Liberty to the United States, it was a vivid, graphic symbol of what America represented to the world community. Freedom of expression, freedom of opportunity, and unlimited freedom of admission. The inscription at the base of the statue admirably embodies this philosophy.

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore… I lift my lamp by the golden door.”

Today, official American policy no longer permits unlimited immigration; the sacred symbology of the statue has itself been devalued.

update 180104: editor TM would exercise his prerogative and remove a bit of my prose now and then. [I restore from memory.] I thank Emma Lazarus for her contribution, and apologize for my clumsy edits.

I remain an open borders kind of guy, and think that a border wall is a bad idea whose time has come. I do recognize that open borders plus a massive plunder funded welfare magnet equals the EU. I don’t endorse spending more stolen money on a Great Big Beautiful Wall, I endorse spending less stolen money on The MIC and The Privileged Poor.

update 190911: I recently sent this file to correspondent Al Assassid, citing my enduring gratitude for editorial’s forbearance She responded:
“Chances are editor TM placed Packed Prison Problem next to Bust Nets 4. He was a fan of humor, both obvious and subtle. Not always one to exert forbearance, I‘m glad he practiced it on you.”