Emphatic Yield

22 January 2019

We could call it “The One Jerk Rule.”
Every time you see a cop pull someone over you can be confident that there is at least one jerk involved.

Ideally, the jerk in question would be some jackass who had been driving like a maniac and threatening the rest of us with expensive inconvenience and mortal injury. Or perhaps the jerk is nowhere near the scene. Suppose my evil twin were to hold up the local Quikk Stopp. When Officer Friendly pulls me over he doesn’t know I’m not the jerk he seeks. He sees that my vehicle or I match the suspect description he was provided. If I’m patient and wise it will eventually be sorted out. Such events are rare, but do warrant mention. But those aren’t the jerks I wish to discuss.

Anyone who joins a cadre whose policy mandates that members fill quotas of abuse, whether it be Komrade Kruschev rounding up Ukrainians for mass-murder, or Officer Speedbump lying in wait for the tenth pickup going at least five miles per hour past the limit, has also chosen to be a jerk.

I’d say that more often than not I “run” the stop sign nearest my home on my way to work. “Run” is an exaggeration. I slow down to assess the situation and then conduct myself with both discretion to Deputy Fife’s possible presence down the next block, and deference to my own skin.

If I weren’t so lazy and cowardly (your basic Pussican American), I’d be tempted to ignore the next parked cruiser I saw when I safely negotiated entry into an intersection. As tickets for such an infraction could range from forty to two hundred bucks (your mileage may vary) I would thereupon demand a jury trial (and stand pro se), arguing that such dicta are a violation of the Fifth Amendment’s prohibition against uncompensated takings. Ignoring a stop sign is in and of itself neither trespass nor threat. FAILURE to YIELD can be reckless endangerment, and when rights of way are posted or otherwise understood it is also breach of contract.

But when an intersection is well lit and it is clearly safe to enter I do no harm to society by conserving my perfectly good momentum. I paid for that momentum by burning my own gasoline, which I purchased ultimately with my labor and irreplaceable time. By legislative or administrative fiat am I to be deprived of my just property? Or am I to be fined, and therefore deprived of my just property? (Am I to be forced to burn more gasoline and enlarge my carbon footprint and thus accelerate global coo– warmi– climate change?) There is no discernible benefit to “society” from this policy, just injury to the innocent and riches for the ruling class.

I will concede that stop signs at security checkpoints, factory or refinery gates, military installations, hygiene stations etc may well be appropriate. On public streets they are offensive. It is just as easy to mark thoroughfares with “Yield” signs. Failure to yield is already stupid and dangerous.
Let’s stop harassing the harmless and return to sensible security.