26 January 2019
Prosecutor Preens While Jackals Slaver Over Fresh Carrion
That may be a little busy.
I appreciate the pains that headline writers take to come up with expressions that snare readers’ attention, draw them into the story, even tell part of the story, but still leave them eager for more.
Also, I don’t know for a fact that Mr Mueller is literally preening. I have no problem with the jackal comparison, of course, in light of the media’s recent disgraceful treatment of the young gentlemen from Covington, but I should probably not refer to Mr Stone as “carrion.”
I also like —
Privileged Elite Mob Assaults Lone Tribal Elder
That one is a lot more defensible. After all, the FBI themselves claim to be among the best of the best. You know, “Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity” and all that jazz (though some of their detractors have referred to them as a [Sexually active] Bunch of Idiots), so you bet! Plenty elite! And privileged? Who’s more privileged than the FBI? Not only do they get to wave around cool guns that you can’t, but they also get to kill people. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Just because Lon Horiuchi can murder Sammy and Vickie Weaver doesn’t mean that you can get away with that kind of nonsense. Now THAT’s privilege! Also, they’ll lie to you just for the fun of it with complete impunity, but if you misremember the ingredients in your sandwich last Thursday you can look forward to prison romance. Maybe “Mob” is a little unfair. These guys are pros, so they’re generally more organized than the rest of us. Still, when you’re outnumbered by about twenty-seven to one, it does feel a bit like being mobbed.
Hmmm… Even if Mr Mueller is not actually preening, it was still a pretty hefty show of force, and it left the breast-beaters and pearl-clutchers in the steno-media singing his praises.
Ah! Of course! I’ve got it! (Inspired by Charles Atlas):
Thug Flexes, Chicks Swoon