“There Are No Innocent Third Parties”

27 July 2020  

This may be the favorite refrain of mass-murderers, spoiled children, and statesmen.  (Although “he made me” is a serious contender.)

When the U.S. government destroyed Iraq’s infrastructure, and placed an embargo over her skies and shores, hundreds of thousands of Iraqi’s died of malnutrition and/or other hygienic complications.  “Worth it,” according to Madeleine Albright.  Naturally, well-intentioned Wahabists had no choice but to fly airplanes into the World Trade Towers, thereby killing thousands more.  Of course, they deserved to die, because “there are no innocent third parties.”

When Timothy McVey took down the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City, hundreds died.  Not to worry, it was a federal building, full of collaborators, and there are no innocent third parties.

When the Cavalry cleaned out the savages at Sand Creek and Wounded Knee, they were doing the Lord’s work.  These animals were in the way of Manifest Destiny.  Besides, nits grow into lice, and there are no innocent third parties.

When Sergeant Bales decided to go hunting Afghans, he ran afoul of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  Why?  They were ragheads, weren’t they?  Hadn’t they defied their liberators? Aren’t there no innocent third parties?

When General Sherman bombed Solomon Luckie’s barber shop in downtown Atlanta, it didn’t trouble his conscience at all.  By cutting the hair of soldiers and engineers and grocers, Luckie was contributing to the Confederate Economy, and there are no innocent third parties.

When a Blue Knee crushed the life out of a Brown Neck, ardent and committed activists had no choice but to batter journalists, harass motorists, and to burn down convenience stores*, because there are no innocent third parties.

(* Also Korean barbecues, Jewish delis, Gay bakeries, and Christian bookstores)

There are many ways to say, “there are no innocent third parties.”  Popular options run the spectrum from “let’s beat up the haole kid” to “nuke ‘em all and let Allah sort ‘em out.”

update 200822:  Freely associating Robert Bales to Nidal Hassan to Chris Kyle to Edward Snowden, I am moved to point out that all four were committed activists who took matters into their own hands.  Personally, I think Bales and Hassan should stretch ropes, or be securely indentured to the families of their victims, I’m not sure.  I’m surer about Kyle and Snowden, and much clearer on their differences:  One was a hero who risked his life to protect the rights of all Americans, the other one shot strangers from a safe distance.

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