Just because it hurts doesn’t make it not funny

29 February 1984 — Of course I am Lord and Master in my house, and my wife agrees.  She didn’t at first (sometimes she thinks I’m not very funny), but when I fully explained myself and defined it for her, she couldn’t help but be pleased.
I am a female chauvinist, and have been for as long as I can remember.  When I say “Lord and Master” I mean second in command to “Lady and Mistress.”
My duty is to enforce her will.
My desire is to influence her will.
update 200110:  Since composing the thoughts above, I have since added yet another favorite T-shirt/Bumpersticker slogan to the catalog in my head (thanks to the stranger who wore it):  “I LOVE it when MY WIFE lets me go fishing.”

14 March 2009
Oh Bearer of Light, Illuminate Our Path from this Garden of Ignorance

21 December 2010 — “I’m Ready”
After dealing with my Mom, my sister, two wives, a daughter, and various girlfriends, I’ve learned to understand Girl a little bit. 
“I’m ready” means “I’m ready for you to wait for me.”

“My Father Doesn’t Think Much of Me” (17 April 2014)
Now, that’s not to say that he dislikes or disrespects me. I just don’t think I cross his mind all that often. I love him and respect him and all, but we’re not pals. We are very different people.
He’s an affable joiner, I’m a troubled loner.
He’s a successful entrepreneur, I’m a low wage drone.
He’s a Born Again Christian, I’m an Atheist Materialist.
He’s a “conservative” and occasionally libertarian Republican, I’m a xenophilic anarchist (and a gay liberal republican).
Of course, we’re both successful breeders (thrice each) and divorced and remarried, though I’m more divorced than he is, but not by much.
update 210224:
Late reports from my stepmother suggest that in his advanced stage of dementia, Daddio doesn’t think of much of anything these days, though he still recognizes and loves his wife (and Jesus.) In other developments, he is comfortably retired and I am now a no-wage drone.

The Essentials    (4 April 2017) I expect that I could live without garlic or cannabis, but neither as well nor as long.

18 November 2017 — As a proper Anarcho Materialist Death Cultist I understand that ultimately we’re all doomed. I’m not at all depressed or bitter about it. Life is rich with tragedy and tragedy is rich with humor. If we couldn’t laugh we’d be crushed by the overwhelming sadness of life. As a proper Rastafarian Agnostic Sybarite, I often ask,
“Does not getting stoned REALLY help?”

1 September 2018 — What seems to inform Dangerous Cults?
Neither the New World Testament ( or The Book of Mormon ) nor Lamb ( or The Gospel According to Biff) contradict Ye Olde Testament or The New Improved Testament any more than they already contradict themselves. I haven’t yet read the Koran so I’m unqualified to weigh in on that one, but judging from the behavior of many of its adherents I gather that it is a grimmer and grittier version of the original. Sort of like Frank Miller’s Dark Knight up against Adam West’s Gotham Guardian.
Marxism is a competing faith, as is statism more generally. They all seem to be of a kind — theism, statism, nationalism, socialism — and I lump them together as types of collectivism and self abnegation. Lefties all!

8 July 2019 — Most Americans have a Phlogiston Theory of Human Rights, that they are a grant of our secular masters (Gub’mint) or our eternal master (Gawd). As usual, they get it exactly backward. We are not filled with rights by an outside entity. Like other human attributes, rights devolve organically from our nature.

12 July 2019 — It is well established that God is an Asshole.
The question remains, however, what kind exactly?
I paraphrase from memory. God tells Moses,
“I shall bring forth water from that stone. Hold out your staff.”

Moses strikes the rock with his staff.
God says, “I didn’t say shit about hitting any rocks. You’re screwed!”
God is a drill sergeant, who must be obeyed. TO. THE. LETTER!

22 July 2019 — One might consider Lutherans and Catholics (at least) to be natural Transcendental Mathematicians. I’ve read most of the major scriptural bases of Western Civilization, but haven’t witnessed all the liturgies of Christendom. Still, Lutherites and Papists both acknowledge the difference between for all time (“…for Thine is the power and glory Forever…”) and for all time and then some (“…and Ever.”) So far only Aleph-null and Aleph-one, but it’s a start.

27 August 2019
I know that God is cruel when David Koch dies of cancer but
The Deleterious RBG does not. update 201119: Maybe God got my complaint and balanced things up, having harvested Ginsburg recently. Still, when I further reflect that Chris Wallace and Chris Hayes and Chris Cuomo all continue to live, and Chris Farley does not…

8 September 2019 — Most theists “Know” Gods’ Love the same way Susan Smith’s sons “knew” that Mamma loved them. They wished to believe it so much that the thought of its not being true was too painful to accept.

25 May 2020 — “Love is not enough,” said Elizabeth Holloway Marston
(and others, too, but at least her character said so in the film
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women“.)
But without love, everything else is also not enough.

22 June 2020 — The only people to ever tell me that “Money isn’t Everything” had more of it than I have. And it seems like, the more they had, the more adamant they were about it. Which of course makes perfect sense; on those elevated margins it is much less valuable, just like everything else.