31 March 2023
“Crazy for feelin’ so lonesome…” Willie Nelson
correspondent Mymolk Mymows wonders why she always seems to attract the crazies. She shares this example:
[T]he guy who asked me if he was attractive… just messaged me. [W]e’ve exchanged a few messages… nothing deep… Just regular small talk.
Him: “I’m a piece of shit.”
Me (red flag alert going off in head): “why do you say that?”
Him: “because I am”
Me (not going to be his cheerleader): “you can change that.”
Him: “no one likes me”
I respond: You attract crazies because you’re crazy-friendly. Not that you’re necessarily nice or polite to the crazies, but that they see your attitude (independent, principled, NOT reflexive or “normal”) and recognize that you are also part of the vast outside of the narrow mainstream. Same reason I guess I attract troofers and flerfers (flat earthers) — because I challenge some popular orthodoxies, I must be amenable to their lunacy too. Sorry, as long as you continue to not parrot the party lines, crazies like me (and worse) are going to be drawn to your hot brain.
And yes, telling a new acquaintance that “I’m a piece of shit” is as helpful a red flag as asking “do you think I’m pretty?” Either statement, unsolicited, early in a relationship, are gifts of freedom. Take them!