Flintlocks and Moveable Type

12 August 2019

The mere printing of an opinion piece should never be construed as either an endorsement by editorial or a disavowal of the sentiments expressed therein. However, there are certain signals that editors may employ to imply one or the other. Placing a letter at the end of a column without editorial comment, allowing the correspondent the last word, is one plus sign. A parodical header or accompanying graphic is an effective minus. Bold type echoing the theme of the letter at the top of the column is a big plus.

That big plus was found in Friday’s Enquirer, in which the editors seemed to endorse correspondent JH’s antiquarian interpretation of the Bill of Rights. In her narrow view of Eighteenth Century technology and social intercourse, the only protections the Second Amendment would offer those of us in the Militia (the general citizenry, again using 18th century terminology, or “the people”) would be in our use of sticks, knives, pitchforks, and flintlocks. No Colt 45s or AK 47s or AR-15s for us!

Applying this narrow logic to the First Amendment I must wonder whether she and the Enquirer’s editors would likewise restrict the Enquirer et al to block-printing, cuneiform, and movable type, and outlaw all electric means of mass communication along with those dreadful “assault weapons” and “Saturday Night Specials.”

Guns, Gold, & Garden Tools

24 June 2019

In his paeans to price-fixing and central planning, Fed fan Justin Lahart (Wall Street Journal weekend edition 6/22-23) glosses over the Federal Reserve’s many failures, exaggerates the extent of alleged 19th Century panics, and ignores the F’eral Reserve System’s greatest crimes.

In addition to facilitating intervention in World War One, thereby spawning both Nazi and Soviet horrors, it has inexorably gouged out about 98% of the value of the US Dollar. Prior to its steady loss of value since 1913 the American Dollar gained purchasing power throughout the late 19th Century, as an unrestrained free market unleashed unprecedented improvements in manufacture, transportation, and hygiene.

The full extent of these banksters’ larceny has been largely disguised by continuing gains in productivity. Nevertheless, hapless savers are faced with the prospect of watching their life’s work evaporate, or be thrust into a speculative arena where many do not belong, or put their trust in a “certified financial planner.”

Nah… Give me guns, gold, and garden tools.

The Devil We Know

2 July, 2002 — Term Limits are a cheap gimmick designed to relieve voters of the responsibility to educate themselves on the issues and the records of office holders.
It is tantamount to telling Nanny, “Stop me before I vote again.”

“Thank You for Not Voting” (6 July 2002)
There’s no danger in alienating non-voters. What are they going to do? Not vote for me? When people tell me they don’t vote, I have mixed emotions. Part of me wants to say, “Hey! Come on, I need all the help I can get!” Another part wants to say, “Great! The fewer people vote, the more mine counts!” Still another part wants to say, “Fine. Go back to sleep. Leave these decisions to the grown-ups.”

“Why NOT Mess with Texas?” (11 May, 2005) — There seems to be no down side to it. From 1861 to 1865 the Neo-Whig Occupation messed with Texas big time, thoroughly squashing their efforts to assert their independence and sovereignty. Ever since they’ve been as docile a doormat and as servile a sycophant as Massa Lincoln could have hoped to find anywhere else in His Union.

1 September, 2019 — I hate to see Elizabeth (Dei Gratia Regina) and Boris (Populi Gratia Ministerium Primus) take heat for their “anti-democratic” suspension of Parliament. Their anti-pandering Anti-Democratic resolve may be among their most admirable of attributes.

“Magic Numbers” (7 January, 2020) — President Tjump, leftist pawn of the same cabal that brought you the Bushbamaton 2000® (models 41 through 44), cites 52 potential bombing targets in case Iran hassles more intruders in their neighbors’ houses. Why 52?  One each, he says, for the American hostages held in the US Embassy in Tehran lo these many generations ago.  But why stop there?  Why not 148, one each for the people murdered by the US government at Sand Creek?  Why not 300, one each for the victims at Wounded Knee?
Or perhaps I should be more modest than El Donaldo, AND more contemporaneously relevant. I would propose just two targets, one each for Sammy and Vickie Weaver, also murdered by the US government:  Langley and Quantico will do.
update 200108: If Hezbolah is Iran, Al Qaeda is America.

“Those Cockeyed Hawkeye Cauci” (4 February, 2020) —
The I.T. elites of Iowa’s Democrat party have taken it upon themselves to foist an unsolicited “upgrade” onto a hapless caucusing electorate.  Their sleek new app apparently wasn’t up to the task of meeting 19th Century tabulation procedures. 
Or so goes the party line.  Cynics suspect that an embarrassing Sanders Surge had to be buried in a blizzard of digital doubletalk, thereby conferring the inevitable endorsement onto Squeaky Pete, while simultaneously delivering a healthy kick in the slats to heir disapparent Quid Pro Joe.
I.T. weasels and party apparatchiks vow to address this epic failure by insulting Iowa voters and punishing accounting clerks.  Isn’t there a napp for that?

Yeah, right…

27 May 2019

You probably don’t buy it either.

But so many of you anyway (“you” equals “those who are not me”) recite that nonsense. I’m sorry, there is no vaginal guarantee against mendacity. As it turns out, women are just like people! Some of them are brilliant, honorable, talented, charming, and delightful. And some of them are loathsome, stupid, parasitic, duplicitous lying scumbags. Cretins, creeps, and criminals come in all colors, speak all languages, worship all manner of gods or none at all, and come in two sexes (plus some very rare genetic malformations.) I get a little tired of reminding ya’ll, but I just keep seeing this leftist nonsense over and over and over again.

Believe tall handsome blue-eyed comic book geeks!
(If bullshitting one’s way to success actually works,
maybe I should try to cash in!)

Fiat Lucre!

26 May 2019

Let there be cash!

It’s very difficult to dredge up any sympathy for American snivelers who wail about “foreign currency manipulation” or “currenc[ies] that [are] artificially weak.” To make sympathy even harder, these pampered plutocrats propose to respond to foreign central banks aping the Federal Reserve’s schtick (and industrious foreign entrepreneurs offering us great deals) by siccing their pet legislators onto the American consumer with additional tariffs.

For a century the F’eral Reserve has been the king of currency manipulation, and as the century wore on other central banks realized that they too could foist such offenses onto their captive markets. Who do they think they are? Americans?

These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars” in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates, c/o Gene Greigh //  401 Rio Concho Drive, #105;  San Angelo, Texas;  76903

Sex v Gender

10 May 2019

Correspondent BH reminds us that “referring to people by their legal gender rather than their biological gender [is to give] the state authority that it doesn’t have.” His position has merit and I am grateful for the reminder. We should always avoid endorsing legal fictions, and endeavor to call all things by their proper names (theft, murder, boy, girl, label, object.) Conditionally adapting to Massa’s language may be a tactical advantage, but preserving our own integrity is a strategic necessity.

Still, I wish people would not say “biological gender.”
Words have gender (and there are only three),
organisms have sex (and there are only two),
and people have proclivities (and they are endless.)

Of course, I have no quarrel whatsoever with the term “legal gender” as the predicate adjective “legal” when referring to biology, physics, or most any other part of the real world means “meaningless nonsense follows.”

BH defends his use of the term, pointing out that “gender has always had a direct correlation with sex… [E]ven though it was a term reserved for grammar, and later legal things, that correlation wasn’t broken until recently.” Well, he is right, of course, and I can grasp the present usage (see caveat above in re Massa‘s language). Language evolves, sometimes capriciously, but sometimes sensibly, to better describe changing circumstances or contemporaneous phenomena. But when the changes ARE capricious, or unnecessary, or even contrary to common understanding (see “sick” “bad” or “bitchin‘”), then it does offend me. Maybe because I am retarded and have always had a very difficult time keeping up with slang.
(“Feet, say good-bye to rug. Face, say hello to concrete floor.”)

Tulsi Gabbard for Secretary of War

19 May, 2019

It’s convenient for a political junkie to live in an open primary state. In 2016 I was the first of my friends to vote against President Pantssuit. Fortunately Lady MacBubba went down in flames anyway, but I still get to claim I voted against her more (though I probably hate her less) than most of my peers.

This go ’round, I expect I’ll be pulling a Democrat ballot again in Ohio’s Primary and voting FOR Tulsi Gabbard. Do not mistake me, I think that she has a childish view of economic reality and could be a disastrous President of Johnsonian (or Dubyic?) Proportions. I don’t care. I expect I’ll vote the Libertarian ticket in the General Election, but in the meantime I want her in the Democrat debates. I am a squeamish peacenik coward whose fundamental political metric is body count, and she hits this issue first and she hits it hard! I don’t know if I can bring myself to send her any money (I’m already paying her salary!) but I’m telling you and I’m tagging my car and encouraging peaceniks in open primary states to keep this issue alive. The slavering jackals of Faux & MSNBCNN are trying to bury her (Tucker Karlmarxon excluded.) As long as she’s willing to beat this drum for me, I reckon I can throw in a few Amens!

On Sheep, Wolves, and Men

22 February, 2020

Sheep fear wolves.  As well they should.  Wolves are aggressive carnivores; sheep are passive herbivores.  Wolves are feral, sheep are docile.  Wolves are predators, sheep are prey.  Fear is rational.

Sheep hate individuals more than they fear wolves.  In fact, many sheep love, respect, and admire wolves.  Sheep will love the wolf who protects his larder from the other wolves.  They express their love in many ways: 

“He kept us free,” “He kept us safe,” “Thank God for Negan,” and, “I have observed him on television; he shall trounce those violent criminals.” (or, in the Original Klingon, “Ah seen him on teevee.  He’s go’n’ whoop them ter’rists.”)

Respect?  Admire?  I do believe.  One point and two questions:

The point  —  Che Guevara is on more T-shirts in America than Ron Paul, Sam Adams, Tom Payne,  Ben Franklin, or Emma Goldman.

The questions  —  Why do mass murderers become more popular after their convictions?  —  &  —  Why do convicted mass murderers get marriage proposals from strangers?

So why should the sheep HATE individualism, even as they LOVE their wolves?  Because individuals “cause trouble.”  They “stand out” and “rock the boat” and “make waves.”  They’re “asking for it” and they “think they’re better than us.”   Worse yet, even though it is Negan™ who is actually killing members of the flock, it is Rick Grimes™ who is “getting them killed.”

But worst of all, the sheep hate the individual because he is a walking rebuke to their constant betrayal of their alleged standards.  Sheep love their wolves because the wolves remind the sheep that they are not wolves.  Sheep hate individuals because individuals remind the sheep that they are not men.

Wuhan Flu™

10 March, 2020

Technically inaccurate:  Wuhan “Flu” or Koala “Bear” or “Buffalo Nickel”?

Maybe, sure, why not?  I’m no microbiologist, so I’m grateful for correction, but “CoViD19®” may indeed be from an entirely different genus than influenzae.  So what?  It seems to manifest “flu like” symptoms:  fever, nausea, congestion, respiratory difficulty, death. 

And the marsupial Koala is ursine in no sense other than outer appearance.

And America’s iconic “Buffalo Nickel” is 75% Copper and features a Bison on its reverse side.

Still… so what?  Even if inaccurate, like Lime Disease® and West Nile Virus®, they are apt enough.

But racist?  No. (Or probably. And sexist, too!)

In Defense of the Judge, & of the Submariner, but mostly the Judge

17 November, 2018

I probably don’t like Roy Moore.  I don’t know, but I expect that, like many officers of various courts, he has condemned more than a few peaceful potheads to involuntary prison romance.  Like many of his ilk, he might protest that his “hands were tied” by mandatory sentencing guidelines.  I don’t care; if he purports to be a decent human being then he is obliged to resign such a phony judgeship and recognize that he is merely a robed administrator.  If you are forbidden to use judgment, then you are not a judge.

And that’s not even the defense part.  I point out how awful I think he could be, just as I have elsewhere detailed how awful Submariner, the wicked wicked step-father, was.

I cite their awfulness up front, BEFORE their defense, to illustrate a very important point:  I care more about WHAT’s right than WHO’s right.  If the Judge or the Submariner incidentally adhere to actually decent principles or can narrowly be defined as not an overt jerk in one regard or another, then that’s laudable in spite of other failings.

Roy Moore first entered my world a generation ago, when, as an elected judge, he chose to erect a monument to The Ten Commandments (at his own expense) in the lobby of “his” courthouse.  I haven’t read the relevant County or Municipal charters, nor Alabama’s constitution, so I don’t know if his act was in breach of any of those agreements, hut I suspect not.  None of the shrill complaints surrounding his act of historical citation ever mentioned such, but fully focused on his alleged violation of the First Amendment’s fictional “wall of separation” between church and state.  The First Amendment has no application to the Moore case, unless it is to protect HIS freedom of expression.  As a militant atheist myself I consider about half of The Ten Commandments to be offensive bullshit (the jealous god stuff), but all of it, like the mythology from which it springs, to be hugely significant, historically AND culturally.  It is, for good AND ill, the cornerstone of our contemporary theory of jurisprudence — don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness, don’t insult petulant gods (or popular sensibilities).  A modest monument to legal history, on the Judge’s dime, does not seem worth getting overly exercised.  If I don’t like it, maybe I should vote for a different judge.

Years later he makes the scene again, this time amid a flurry of accusations of “pedophilia” and “molestation.”   The charge of pedophilia was both base and baseless.  It was cruel and inaccurate, to the judge himself, because pedophiles prey strictly on the prepubescent, and that’s not Roy, and to actual victims of pedophilic predation, because the dilution of such charges diminishes and denigrates real victims.  Attempts to distort and dissipate such specific concepts as pedophilia and privilege ill serves justice as it waters down precise notions and diffuses legitimate anger.  “Molestation” may enjoy a narrow, legalistic, and technical accuracy, but it withers under objective scrutiny.  Molestation implies an imposition, but Moore’s history doesn’t bear that out.

As a thirty-something bachelor, Moore dated teenagers, with the blessing and permission of their parents.  In the broad historical context his behavior could be described as correct, courtly, and courteous,  Protective parents likely looked on young professional Moore as an “up and coming” good catch,  To many today, that may sound creepy, but too many have been warped by a century of progressive infantilization.  Adolescent apprenticeships have been squeezed out of the market to make life easier for Union Bosses, while hapless students have been sentenced to longer and longer terms of government “education.”  It’s no wonder that so many reactionary do-gooders imagine that a 26 year old “child” would be helpless without Mommy’s insurance.  The invention of the “teenager” was a serious mistake, the residue of which continues to misinform our horror at the thought of historic dating habits or twelve year old drug mules.

I was a twelve year old drug mule, and I was delighted to do it.  During my thirteenth year the Submariner was stationed at the New London Sub Base.  When his boat was in port, he spent most of his Sundays on the couch watching football.  Every so often he would summon me, hand me a buck, and send me to the local QuikkStopp® for two packs of cigarettes plus whatever I wanted with the change.  He and I had our “issues,” but I do not fault his great and assiduous respect for property and agreement.  He soon learned that I shared that with him, so he trusted me with his cash and his smokes.  My older brother, the Thug, he did not, as the Thug had developed a taste for both nicotine, and larceny.  But for me and the Submariner, it was a good deal; he got his fix without stirring from the couch, and I got the latest minty fresh twelve cent issue of Adventure Comics or X-Men or Detective.  Again, what we shared was respect for property.  (The trouble was, he seemed to consider his wife and daughter to be property, but that’s a different and much uglier story.)

During my regular duties as a drug dealer, I will often commiserate with customers who are obliged to show ID before scoring their stash.  I never apologize because I consider myself to be just as much a victim of the regime as are they.  Depending on my mood, I might point out that were it up to me I would cheerfully sell a fourteen year old all the beer, ammunition, and heroin that she could afford.  Or I might relate that story above about the Submariner’s smokes.  Once they get over their shock many might reflect that the world has changed a lot since their own childhoods as well, and not just in the price of cancer sticks and funny books.

How do we make babies?  Your parents should already have filled you in.  Let’s move on.  How do we make grown-ups?  Give children responsibilities.  When they measure up, give them more.  How do we make large hairy children?  Deny smaller children responsibility, shield them from the consequences of their own misbehavior, and “protect” them from disappointment. Eventually you’ll get a generation of discourteous jerks and ignorant savages who believe that the beginning of a request sounds like “I need” or “I want” or “give me.”

Let’s get back to the Judge. We left him with one charge standing, that of “molestation.”  But does it stand?  Was it an actual case of a grown-up creep “preying on children?”  I’d hoped to have dismissed that “helpless child” nonsense by now, but I can still sense heels digging in across time and space.  

Still not buying it?  Dig out that old family bible, the really really old one that your Granny got from her Granny.  Go to the genealogy section and go back four or five generations.  Check the birthdates of respective pairs of ancestors.  I’d be willing to bet real money (Au or Ag) that you’ll find a few fifteen or sixteen year old brides with husbands who are twice or even three times their age.  Chances are your teenaged G’G’Great Gran was G’G’Great Grampop’s third or fourth wife.  The earlier models were all likely teens at their weddings, too, and they probably expired during childbirth (for centuries one of the major killers of women.)  Was G’G’Great Grampop also a child molester creep?  You owe your existence to his (mis?)behavior.  That’s YOUR history.  Dare you change it?

For millennia, thirteen year old boys would stand before their families and communities and declare, “Today, I am a man.”  (or, in the original Klingon: “Eye-yew’ muh-ni’ geh-vill’.”)  They meant it, and the community believed it, and held them to it.  They may not have been as fully respected as their gray headed elders, but they were on their way. They had stepped into manhood and renounced the excuses of childhood.

How to we make children?  That’s too easy. Stop it!  How do we make a man?  Treat him like a man.  Hold him to account like a man.  Reward him, or condemn him, as a man.  As a parent you love your child, and may wish to be his friend, too.  Probably you are, and for years you will likely be the best friend that kid has, but you DARE NOT be his buddy,  Your job is NOT to “raise children” (there are already far too many superannuated children in the world), your job is to transform infants into adults.

update 200425: correspondent EW writes, “[Your story] made me think of how I got EXCORIATED by my wife, in-laws, and even a bit by my parents when I allowed my 7 year old son to walk to the store by himself which was only half a mile away and had 1 big street to cross. When he came back he felt really proud and all that jazz till my wife and his mother convinced him that he was LUCKY that he was still alive. We still can’t even talk about that to this day.”

These comments are sponsored by The Confederate Mint (purveyors of metallic securities in gold, silver, copper, and lead).  For sample sheets of Metallic Certificates (total face value One Tenth Silver Dollar) send One Silver Dime plus a self-addressed stamped envelope; or Four United States Legal Tender Federal Reserve “Dollars” in scrip, check, or money order, to Greigh Area Associates, c/o Gene Greigh //  401 Rio Concho Drive, Suite 105;  San Angelo, Texas;  76903